


Vehement

by LinKao_InTheGreens



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Violence, Character Death, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Family History, Family Secrets, Forced Prostitution, Haunting, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Murder, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Paranormal, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Infidelity, Past Levi/Eren Yeager, Post-War, Protectiveness, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicide, War, Writing Exercise, eremika is endgame, like the real series, mikasa is my favorite, not all that sure where this will end but it wont end good, shes the one of the only characters that's not messed up, switching from past to present, takes place in some type of german based world, this will be on hiatus for a little longer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-05-14 17:16:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19277839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinKao_InTheGreens/pseuds/LinKao_InTheGreens
Summary: After Eren comes back from the war, his arm and leg now gone, he is haunted by his past that he thought he left behind years ago.---Very short summary but oh well.





	1. Earnest

**Author's Note:**

> This story switches from the past to the present, and the present takes place during and after a war. I decided to waste more time and write this as practice in writing more diverse and complicated stories. I've had this idea sitting there for years and pulled it back up just for the hell of it. It's not a very happy story and the things that happen in here are new to me for writing, so thus the challenge begins. 
> 
> This story also has past rape, child abuse, murder and suicide, infidelity, and a shit load of other stuff. Oh, joy. Levi isn't the best in the past maybe not even the present, Eren at least tries his best but in the end, is just a kid, Erwin is sometimes an asshole, many characters make mistakes and mess up. Some are redeeming others not so much. Lots of characters death and very little actual romance and love. (So I guess this is drama)
> 
> I wanted to write a story that isn't all too happy and sunshine so I chose a story that takes place with the aftermath of war and a past that has layers of mystery. Mikasa is pretty much the center of it all but the other characters are the ones that move the pieces along. I hope that I don't mess up along the line since I'm pretty much going in blind with all but the outline of where I'm headed.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, nonetheless and don't forget to comment and kudo. I've learned I love hearing from you guys.

Das Jahr: 850 März 2

The smoke was suffocating and blinding, stinging his eyes at every second. He could hear the shouts and cries from the mix of soldiers and civilians around him. 

It had happened in an instant. By the time they heard the first airships coming in, they barely had time to react before everything was forced into a violent storm of debris and flames. The ones who did have time to react though, had no place to hide so the oncoming hum of the planes was like a blade being cut through their skin agonizingly slow. Half of the people in the area were most likely wiped out when the first wave hit, and by the second Eren wasn’t sure if anyone was going to make it. The only thing telling him that there were still people out there, were the screams.

The ear-piercing and heart-wrenching screams. 

Eren knew the people that were out there, somewhere in that smoke. Choking on the thick clouds or buried under the rubble, crushed and suffocating. There were children and women. Soldiers and village men. Only minutes before the area was a field hospital, more than 200 injured and ill patients were staying there. All Eren was doing was helping out there for a few months. Bandaging and stitching any soldier or civilian. He was going to leave back home in only a week, but now he was in the center of a battlefield. 

It was hard to believe that a few months ago he was thinking of willingly fighting in a battle. Side by side with the army to save as many as he could. Giving his life for the cause. Now all he wished was to get out of there. 

Beside him, the only person he hadn’t been separated from, Thomas, was coughing and gagging on the thick and dust filled the air, the smoke filling his lungs despite the sleave he held over his mouth and nose. Eren was in a similar state, the burn in his throat almost too painful to bear. He was aware of all the cuts and scrapes over Thomas’s body. There were so much blood and dirt over the man that Eren couldn’t figure out where he was injured. He knew he looked similar, but he fought the urge to get lost in his own pain. They had to focus on getting somewhere safe and he knew if he began to worry over the shape he was in it would only slow him down. 

Another buzz of planes coming overhead and made Eren’s heart both race and sunk. He tensed as he prepared for another volley of bombs, not sure if he was in a safe zone or not. Huddling close to Thomas and pushing forward despite the lack of hope.

Anywhere in the smoke wasn’t safe enough. They had to get out of it.

Overhead the hiss sent chills down his spine and the next pairs of bombs hit the earth, shaking it to the core. Eren stumbled for a moment, losing his grip on Thomas. That wave was closer than the last and as Eren opened his eyes the air was so thick of smoke and debris that he was sure he was blind. It was only seconds between the rumbling and the blinding smoke that Eren felt the first patters of shrapnel and earth hitting his bare skin. The sting was the first wave of pain and as the barrage continued and thickened Eren realized he was being buried. Thomas was nowhere in sight and his legs were too weak to carried him away. There was no escape as the dust got heavier and everything was black. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were open or shut and the pain was everywhere. Excruciating and numbing pain. 

Eren went in and out of consciousness, not sure how long he had been out when he awakes and not sure when the next time he’ll lose it again. At one point everything grew silent. The planes were gone and the screams that once filled the air like needles were no more. Eren struggled but wasn’t moving anywhere. He could feel the next wave of nausea hit him and he wasn’t sure if he’d wake this time. His mind was jumbled with too many things at once. Everything he regretted not doing, everything he was glad he did get around to enjoy, the people that were at home waiting for him, and his life in the past that he left behind. Everything was muddling together and the pain in his limbs was ebbing away, leaving a numbing and tingling sensation.

He didn’t want to die, yet at the same time, he was ready. If he died then that would be fine, wouldn’t it? He helped a lot of people out already and even if he didn’t make his name known the little group of people that would remember him was enough. The dust was clearing around him, leaving the dirt and shrapnel in its wake. The sun from above was finally shining through the thinning smoke and though Eren had a clear view of his surroundings there were no people around and he still couldn't move. Something was over him and caging his body to the earth, almost like trying to bury him under prematurely.

He didn’t want to die. 

That was still in his mind, making him hesitate on finally shutting his eyes. Sure he was ready to go, but there was still that little self in him that didn’t agree with him. He was stubborn to the core, but so was death. He was reminded of that day after day, even before joining the base hospital. But still, that didn’t stop him from fighting back before and it wasn’t going to stop him then. 

As Eren struggled to stay conscious, hoping against everything that there were still people out there who would find him, he caught sight of something he hadn’t seen in ages. 

The soft light was almost like a spotlight shining through the yellowed dust. A young girl stood before him, close yet far. At first, he thought it was someone that had survived and he fought tooth and nail to gain her attention, but then he realized; he had seen her before. She didn’t move and just stared at him, her dark eyes piercing in the thin veil of light and smoke. 

How could he forget her?

Eren watched her as his eyes were finally shutting wondering why it was he forgot about her before. 

She was always there. Always with him, but then he forgot? How could he do that? Even as his last thoughts were filled with that girl, his memories coming back to him, bit by bit, he couldn’t recall that one day. That day he let her go and moved on. 

Now, as he finally welcomed that unknown darkness and let himself fall into what came next, he was rapturous. He was ready. He lived a long life, hadn’t he? Lived a fair share of pain and happiness. 

He remembered what the girl had told him before, about the world is cruel, but even so, she always finished it with those same words.

It was also beautiful.

Eren felt the small smile that moved his lips and the soft hand that rested over his. Then everything was blank and everything was soundless.


	2. Ardent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The start of the more mature content. Just a heads up.

Das Jahr: 842 November 5

 

The man observed, quite pleased, as his own seed dribbled out of the boy’s ass. He hummed and shifted into a sitting position, still watching. 

‘’Sorry ‘bout that.’’ the man lied, Eren already seeing the satisfied glint in his eyes. ‘’I meant to pull out.’’

Eren didn’t dare look and kept his eyes fixed on the man’s expression, then changed to keeping himself entertained by the ceiling. He couldn’t reprimand the man for dirtying him even farther, it wasn’t part of his job. His hands were already tied to the bed’s post because of last time. 

Yet people still wanted to see him. It wasn’t his fault he became so popular. He didn’t ask for all the attention. 

The man shifted once more, sighing uncomfortably and gaining Eren’s attention. Eren already knew the look in the man’s eyes even before the words were out. He had seen that look so many times before and detested every single person who gave them. 

‘’You haven’t even cum yet. Why not another round?’’

That would have been the third time. This man was just as insatiable as he was revolting. 

Eren once again could not refuse the man, staying as silent as he had been since he came in. the man took his silence as a pause for agreement and situated himself once more in between Eren’s legs. Eren removed his sight from the man and returned to that one spot on the ceiling. The strange marks on the ceiling that he kept his focus on while he was used and violated. It was a strange shape and every time he laid eyes on it he wondered if whoever put it there had an image in mind. It didn’t look like anything and to Eren, it was quite hideous to the eyes. It didn’t fit the design of the room at all. 

Just as the man lined up there was a fierce knock on the door and a rough voice calling in. 

‘’Your times up. Finish up and get out.’’

Eren hated the guy who waited out in the hall and greeted all his visitors, with a burning rage, but at the same time, whenever his voice called in through the walls it was his only saving grace for the time being.

The man above his huffed in agitation and glared back at the door, almost as if trying to let his stare burn a hole through the wood and pierce the man interrupting. He looked back down at Eren, his eyes telling him he knew nothing of the discomfort he was putting the boy in. He gave a crooked smile and brushed the hair that matted Eren’s forehead, making Eren wish he could stray from the unwelcomed yet gentle touch. 

‘’Maybe next time then.’’

The man stood up and out of the bed, fixing his pants and redoing his belt, having not even removed his clothes, yet leaving Eren bare to his eyes. 

The man gave one last look over Eren’s body, the pleased grin still on his face as Eren tried to situate himself into a more comfortable position, the tight cloth over his wrists keeping him from doing so.

It felt like ages before the man finally departed and in no less than a minute the man who called into the room came in. He gave Eren a disgusting run over, but nonetheless moved to the bedside and untied Eren’s restraints.

They shared no exchange in words as the man went to the sink to fill a small bucket with what was most likely chilly water and a cloth. He set it by the bed and retrieved a new set of clothes for Eren, giving the boy one last glare.

‘’Wash up there’s one last costumer for tonight.’’

Eren wanted to ask who the hell would pay for a prostitute so late at night, if he could even be called that, though, he knew better than to ask unnecessary questions no matter how much his throat burned to speak up.

Eren washed, the man not even bothering to give him privacy. After he was finished he put on the new pair of clothes, the cloth itchy, but better than the cold air hitting his bare skin and sat back down on the bed. The man hummed his approval at the new and clean boy then went into the wardrobe to pull out handcuffs. 

Eren wanted to protest so bad, but he still kept his mouth shut as the man returned to his side. It was rare for Eren to be forced to use anything from the wardrobe, but it wasn’t something that never happened before. There was a fair share of customers with kinks or just a simple request for a guarantee in safety and who thought a simple cloth wouldn't keep them from losing an eye.

Eren recalled the time when he was forced to wear the cuffs time and time again before the cloth was introduced. It was shortly after Eren was taken by the brothel and he fought against anyone who touched him. At first, his job was to simply let the customers view him and touch him but they were never allowed to fuck him. It was a deal he got used to quickly, but soon Eren became so popular that the owner of the place changed the rules for the boy and that’s where Eren drew the line. 

His first customer came out with so many scratch marks that the man was sure to have scars once they healed. The second Eren bit so hard he gave up on him and left. It wasn’t till Eren clawed at one man’s face and drove his fingers into his eye that the owner gave up on Eren all together. He had hoped Eren would come through to his new life, but he was wrong. Eren cost him so much money that the man began to think maybe the boy wasn't worth the trouble. He debated whether to kill him or try something different and, well, Eren was still alive so that meant he tried something different. 

Eren hated being tied down, but he hated the thought of dying more. 

The man grabbed his wrists in a bruising grip and forced him into the cuffs, looping the chain to the bedpost then locking his other wrist. Eren experimentally tested the cuffs, tugging on them and letting the metal dig into his skin. The man also tugged on the chain around the post and hummed his approval once more. 

He stepped back and viewed the boy laid out in front of him though Eren knew the look was anything but arousal. The man hated him just as much as Eren hated the man. 

‘’He’ll be here in an hour.’’

With that, the man left Eren there. He felt anger roam his body as he realized that the man had tied him up early just so he would be forced to lay in the uncomfortable position till his next patron came in. 

Huffing Eren laid his head back on the pillow, causing the metal to dig into his wrist once more. He hated the cuffs for that reason. Once he pulled it dug into his skin leaving behind marks and cuts. By the end of the night, he was sure he would be left with bloody wrists that would pain him for days.

Eren let himself rest, for the time being, ignoring the binding and closing his eyes. He couldn't be sure how long he had been there in that room, never leaving it and never getting a glimpse of light again. His only company was the man and his clients, who didn’t make good conversationalists. 

It wasn’t his choice to be there. That was something he always fell on when he was left alone. All he wanted was to try and live life on his own. His mother and father died in a factory accident and he was bent on never being sent to an orphanage so he lived on the streets. 

That was a choice he wished he could take back. 

At first, he missed his parents and his home. Then he just missed a simple bed to sleep in and fire to warm up next to. It didn't take long for the young boy to be noticed too. Eren always had a pretty face something he prided himself on because his family always praised him about it, leaving a pleasing blush on the child’s cheeks. On the streets though, that was more of a curse than anything. Men and woman alike looking for pleasure on the cold and damp streets would find children with no homes and no place to go, to get their pent up desires out on. Eren was no exception. 

The first person who forced themselves on Eren was a young teen who thought Eren would be a good way to get both his anger out on and his hormones. Eren was left there in the alley but was bent on continuing on. He wasn't going to give up and die there. 

After that run in, Eren faced many other hardships but soon learned how to defend himself against those thugs. He stayed in a group with others who were kind and took care of one another. He lived a few months like that till one of his peers got the better of him. It was his fault for letting his guard down and thinking he finally found himself a new family. 

The man cornered him and took him away to be sold to a whorehouse who took him in with open arms. Unlike the others there, he was forced against his will. The dirty secret of the dirty cathouse. The other employees didn't know about him, other than the fact that he brought in a lot of money so no one could help him or at least understand him. 

It took a while for them to break Eren into submission and even then Eren wasn’t totally under their control. He had to be put in a tight collar for them to finally get him to listen even just a little. Now he was their mute whore who took any client with ease. 

Still, no matter how much he proved he was good, they never got rid of the bindings. 

Eren shifted once more in place, annoyed that he couldn’t find a satisfactory position with his arms tied above his head. Finally about to give up on resting, there was a light tap on the door. 

Eren sighed and placed his head down on the pillow, waiting for his new patron to come in. 

The man that came in was quite scary looking and his face was twisted into a scowl that Eren was certain was permanent. Despite his short stature he was built well and would probably cause Eren a lot of pains in the future. Eren regarded the man, there is no point in greeting him. Though he had been told to say something by the man outside, him saying it was rude to not do so, Eren wasn’t going to speak. He hadn’t done so in ages, not sure if it was to spite the whorehouse or if it was simply his mind had given up on that mild task. He never tried to speak in private either so there was no way in telling if he could still speak or if he was truly mute.

The man glanced Eren up and down but instead of the usual lust that his clients' eyes filled with upon seeing the boy bound to the bed for them to ravish to their own pleasures, he looked agitated. He clicked his tongue and turned away, forcing the door open and shouting into the hall for the man. 

It was only seconds later that the man’s footsteps were clicking to the client’s side with a worried filled dull. He studied the client then looked in the room at Eren, a look of outrage over his feature. 

‘’What did the little bastard do this time?’’ the man sneered at Eren but looked back at the buyer for his complaint. 

The costumer sighed and pointed back at Eren, who was getting fidgety with the sudden change in mood. 

‘’Why is he a kid?’’

The man looked taken aback and studied the client’s face. ‘’What do you mean? This is who you asked for, right?’’

The new man huffed and tapped his temple with his finger upset and impatient. 

‘’I knew to ask for the best without a clarification was a bad idea,’’ he muttered to himself. 

The man gave a look of understanding at the words and nodded his head. ‘’If he’s not what you were looking for, please, we’ll find you a new one.’’

Levi waved the man off and looked back at Eren, him having filled with relief that he wouldn't have to deal with the stranger. Though the look he gave Eren made him second guess himself. It was an expression Eren couldn't read and it frightened him more than anything so far. Which was something alarming and dangerous. 

‘’So you will take him?’’

The client returned his silver eyes to the man in front of him and sighed once more. 

‘’I can’t believe this.’’ 

The man tilted his head to the side at the client's disheveled mutterings. 

‘’What was tha-’’

There were a choking sound and Eren wasn't sure what was happening till a glint of metal flashed as the client pulled something away from the man. The man fell the ground with a thump, but nothing more. No whimper no cry, he was dead within seconds. 

Eren began to panic as the client switched his stare back at Eren, the silver in his eyes suddenly threatening and deadly. He stepped into the room and proceeded to the bedside, Eren fighting against the cuffs despite the hopelessness of the attempt. 

The man regarded his struggling and the bloody wrist of the boy’s, Eren having already tugged so much the metal cut into his skin painfully. 

‘’Stop it.’’ the man ordered, setting the bloody knife he had in his hand, onto Eren’s throat. 

The blade just barely pierced his skin, the shiver and panic that ran through Eren made him want to jump back from the point, but he knew if he did he’d be killed. He stilled on the bed and waited for what was next. 

Was this man some type of sadist and, despite his displeased look at Eren before, going to rape him anyway then kill him. Or was he simply going to kill him? 

There was a pause, Eren’s throat contracting in fear of taking a big gulp and having his neck cut open. The knife laid heavily on his skin for a while longer before the man removed it and pulled back. 

‘’Where're the keys to this thing?’’ The man wondered, regarding the cuffs. 

Eren looked up blankly, the strange question sparking more in his head. Eren watched the man carefully, aware of his patience growing thin. ‘’Anytime now.’’

Eren carefully took in a gulp and opened his mouth.

‘’In the wardrobe.’’

His voice was barely recognizable to him. For one thing, it was rough from the long while of not using it, and for another, it was weak from fear. 

The man nodded his head and left to retrieve the keys returned and freeing him. 

Eren hesitantly sat up and rubbed his wrists, the blood spreading on his fingertips and his throat holding in a hiss at the sudden pain from the movements. 

The man met his eyes and held a hand out. 

‘’Levi.’’

It was that night that Eren was welcomed into a new life. One that at times he fell into with open arms and others he wished he was never there to begin with. He never came to terms as to what would have been better; had he not been born into the world that tore him to pieces bit by bit in a playful and slow action, or if waiting to be saved and given another chance at freedom was worth the pain.

At the time Eren wished that he was taken from his suffering earlier, but as time passed he learned to appreciate his long wait and loved his life with a never dimming flame.


	3. Spirited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update! I meant to post this last night, but it got too late so I couldn't finish editing, but here it is! The chapters for this story is considerably short compared to my other works, but I feel better writing them since it always ends up taking less time to read through. Enjoy!^﹏^

Das Jahr: 850 März 7

There was a warm breeze over his face and the soft hush of air. A window was open nearby. 

Eren’s mind was cloudy and his body was sore and in pain. He was aware of a presence beside him, even without having opened his eyes. The soft exhale and inhale told him whoever was there, was asleep. 

The light breeze that brushed his skin was coupled with the warm touch of the sun giving Eren the additional knowledge that it was day time. 

He felt his body was covered and profoundly bandaged, his arms and legs aching so bad he was tempted to scream out from the pain, but he stayed calm. He knew if he panicked it would only worsen his condition. Even if he didn’t know what kind of state he was in. 

Eren finally stripped his eyes open, the crust around them making him wince. His eyes were assaulted by the blinding light of the window to his left, the light shining through the thin white, veil-like curtain. In front of him was a white wall and shelves with all the tools he was familiar with. 

He was in a hospital. 

The happenings of before flashed through his brain like a cascade of water through a faucet. He couldn't stop it so he let it flow out and got himself accustom to the knowledge of his reality. 

Hissing in pain as he turned his neck to get a look at who was at his side, his effort worth it as the man he had grown to know as someone akin to a father came into view.

Levi rested in the chair by the bed, his chin to his chest and his eyes closed shut. He looked relaxed and at peace like that, but the worry lines on his forehead and the dark circles around his eyes were more pronounced than usual. 

Eren hadn’t seen the man since he left to the camp and it had only been a couple of months, yet Levi had added grey hairs to his head and more lines on his face than previously. Eren began to feel more worried for him than he was about himself. 

Eren tried to move more than his neck, but his brain screamed at him to stop and he evidently knew something was wrong. 

He looked down at his body, covered with the thin white bedclothes and realized two things. 

He couldn’t feel his limbs and where one of his legs and arms were supposed to be, they were just flat sheets against the bed covers. 

He couldn't hold back the panic that rained on him this time, his breath coming out broken and his body shaking violently. He couldn't be happy for the fact he survived since the new wave of terror ripped that from him. 

Levi beside him began to stir and quickly bolted to his feet when he realized Eren was up. He rested a hand on his chest to keep him still and called out to get a doctor into the room. 

‘’Calm down, Eren. don't move,’’ he advised, his hand still resting heavy on his chest, almost too much so.

Eren struggled more, his brain only telling him that whatever was wrong with him needed to be fixed and fast. 

A doctor rushed in, nurses in his wake, and came to Eren’s side. He examined the young man and quickly called over to one of the others, them bringing a syringe with them and giving him something that made his mind blank once more. 

He felt his limbs weaken and his body relax as his mind was sent back into blackness. Before that, he looked over to Levi with panic on his face, Levi’s own expression one of worry and terror. The doctor said something to Levi who replied, but their voices were muddled by whatever he was given. His ears felt like they were filling with water and his body was no longer sending signals of pain to his brain. 

Eren shut his eyes once more. 

<<<>>>

When they opened again this time he was more prepared for what was to come. 

He couldn't tell how long he slept and it felt like only a second, but from the darkness outside the window, he knew it was longer. 

Levi was by his side quickly this time, followed by a nurse and Hange, an old friend of theirs who had practice becoming of a doctor. 

Eren blinked the tiredness out of his eyes and tried to ignore the violent ache over his body. 

‘’You all right?’’ Levi studied Eren’s face for another panic attack, but Eren felt more relaxed and out of it than before. 

‘’I survived.’’ Eren murmured, his voice weak and throat sore. He was sure there was still dust and smoke covering his lungs.

‘’You survived,’’ Levi repeated, almost like a reassurance, like if he didn't say it then it wouldn't be true any longer. 

Eren closed his eyes once more to try and get the layer of sleep out of them and turned his head to the visitors. 

Hange and the nurse were discussing something, but Levi’s full care was on Eren. 

‘’You doing all right? I’m serious.’’

Eren wanted to shoot back a reply somewhere along the lines of he just got bombs rained down on him and got amputated. Not in the know of whether it happened at the hospital or if his limbs were crushed to a pulp under the rubble that fell on top of him. He didn't say so though. He acknowledged his head, the pain from his neck, reaching down his spine and splitting off to his other limbs. ‘’Fine,’’ he spoke roughly. ‘’Hurts like hell.’’

Levi gave an encouraging smile. ‘’Hang in there, kid. The doctor's coming back with some anodyne and such. You’ll be mostly out of it for a while.’’

Eren groaned and moved his head weakly. He didn’t want to be under anything anymore. He could feel his body was sore and in pain, but he could also tell that he had been drugged beyond belief. He knew it was to help him, but he couldn't stand to be sedated any longer. The pain was fine since it showed him something was wrong.

Eren limply moved one of his arms, but the other wasn’t there anymore and his shoulder was in too much agony to even think about lifting. He turned back to Levi, Levi staring worriedly back. 

The tears that left his eyes helped out with the impairment in them and washed away any leftover debris but they didn't help calm him. His mind was flooding with everything at once and he was in no state to deal with it all. Levi’s eyes flashed with alarm, believing something was happening to Eren he turned, ready to call in the doctor again. Eren held out his arm to Levi and gripped his sleeve. 

‘’It’s all right.’’

Levi let out an exhalation of relief but kept his previous expression. He gripped Eren’s hand and brought it back to his side. 

‘’Don’t move so much.’’

Eren looked away and back up at the ceiling, letting the hand that Levi kept on his comfort him. 

The warmth of his hand brought back the last memory he had before he was buried and fell into blackness. 

The girl that stood in front of him, her eyes and face familiar and her hand still warm after all those years. He wondered who she was for a second. Who she was to him, why she seemed so important. Then everything came to him. He cherished her. How could he forget? He thought for the umpteenth time since seeing her.

Eren closed his eyes once more, this time leaving them like that. 

‘’Mikasa…’’ he murmured, recalling her name. Remembering the feel it had as it rolled over his tongue. Before falling back into his dreamless sleep, he let her memory keep him balanced.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 850 März 12

Eren was eventually allowed to sit up in his bed and was glad to finally be able to do so since he could eat better. 

It had been days since he woke up and even through the pain of surgery after surgery and the sudden discharges of torture in the middle of the night, he was happy he was alive and well. The others around him shared his feelings. 

‘’You still hungry?’’

Armin leaned over to take a look in his bowl, confirming that Eren ate all his food already. Eren giving an embarrassed smile. 

‘’Maybe a little.’’ He admitted.

Armin picked up his bowl and returned the simper. ‘’You don't have to be embarrassed. You’re healing, get better quick and eat as much as you can.’’

Eren was grateful for his friend and showed his gratitude before Armin left, giving him one last smile and thanks. Armin waved him off and disappeared behind the door, leaving it with a small click. 

Following, he laid back and watched the wall in front of him, ignoring the other in the room and abating the din sure to emerge.

Jean sat on the chair farthest from the bed, still eating his bowl of soup and overlooking the silence that rained over the two. 

Eren had grown even more annoyed with the man since he came to visit him with Armin a few days ago. The three had met each other when they were kids and grew a bond that never deteriorated over the years, but between Jean and Eren, the two expressed their friendship in a different way, throwing fists every now and then and constantly bickering. Armin tried to stop the two to no avail and the exchanges became something of a ritual. Though, ever since Eren returned Jean had been acting differently. They still threw words at each other like fire and kept with the repugnant demeanors, but Jean was worried over his old friend nonetheless. He constantly let the belligerence in his eyes leave and pretty much worried over Eren regularly. Asking if he was all right and wondering if there was anything he needed. Eren was thankful for Armin’s caretaking, but from Jean, that was a whole new light he didn’t want shining.

Jean finally finished and Armin, having not returned yet, left him with null to do. 

‘’You all right?’’

Eren sighed and turned his head to look at the other, his eyes irritated. Jean’s hair had grown a bit over the months that they hadn’t seen each other and Eren made fun of his for it, though now that joke was getting tedious, leaving him with nothing to quirk at. 

‘’Stop asking, mom.’’

Jean huffed at the teasing moniker and fell back into his chair, crossing his arms. 

‘’Just checking.’’

‘’Do you have to every ten minutes?’’

Jean didn't answer and only clicked his tongue and turned away. ‘’I guess you’re fine if you can be a pain in the ass.’’

‘’Me a pain in the ass? You’re the one who’s been asking redundant shit questions all the time. How many times do I have to tell you I’m just 'dandy'?’’

Jean fell silent once more and took a gaze at Eren, his eyes flashing over his missing arm and leg, unmissed by the other. A sad and worried look in his eyes.

‘’Just let people worry over you every now and then.’’ he murmured. 

Eren sighed and let it go, shifting into a better position and resting his back on the pillows properly. The room fell into quiet once more till the door's handle click broke it. 

Armin came in balancing two bowls in his hands and handing them to the pair in the room. 

‘’I got you more since I guessed you might still be hungry,’’ Armin told Jean as he handed over the second bowl. The two thanked their blond friend and got to eating, Armin looking over the two skeptically. 

‘’Did you two fight again while I was gone. I was scarcely out for five minutes, geez.’’ Armin sighed and took a seat again. 

A conversation followed after, bathing the room in the tranquil air of the three friends animated chatter. It wasn't interrupted till the door opened once more and Levi came in, giving a quick greeting to Eren’s two friends and moving to Eren's side. 

He held out a bag of supplies he had gathered upon Eren’s request, the hospital finally giving him allowance to bring a few things. 

‘’Thanks.’’

Levi was about to say something back, his mouth open and a form of a word slipping through, but was halted as someone else came in. 

‘’Levi, you can't just run off again.’’

Eren turned to the familiar voice, not sure if it was a good thing he was there or a bad thing. The fire in Levi’s eyes told him it was the later. 

Levi scoffed and crossed his arms. ‘’And why not. You aren’t in charge here, this is the hospital, Erwin.’’

Erwin sighed and crossed his own arms, the two men exchanging stern glares that left the room in a thick layer of uneasiness. Eren wanted to say something but both men were dear to him so he didn't feel like kicking them out. 

‘’What happened?’’ he opted with that instead, looking to the both of them.

‘’I’m trying to find you a doctor who can implement you for prosthetics. I gathered you were contemplating about it but…’’ he looked back at Levi who was still seething with vehemence. 

‘’Levi?’’ Eren turned to the other man, a confused stare directed to him. 

He had been discussing it since his doctor recommended if he wanted it. The only thing stopping him was that he was short of money. He and Levi weren’t exactly living the posh life. That was one of the reasons he joined to help out with the war. He hoped it would get them some money but all it did was waste more of it in getting him back to health. 

Eren recalled that night he was given the idea and wished he just listened to Levi…

Eren came back to the present and waited for the man's retort. 

‘’We don't need his help.’’ Levi shot, still glaring daggers and Erwin. ‘’I can do it myself.’’

‘’With what money?’’ Erwin added. 

Even Eren was a tad on the nerve with that line, but he let it slide. Erwin was intending his best, even if he came off as pushy sometimes. The only person who couldn’t look past Erwin’s flaws was Levi, and Eren knew there was something behind that hatred, but he never asked. Even after all those years, there was a lot of things he never asked the man.

‘’Levi…’’ Eren tried, his eyes roaming Levi’s face for any break in his anger. ‘’Why not let him help?’’

Levi eventually let that flimsy fracture in his armor show and only Eren was the one who noticed it. Levi showed hesitation as he met Eren’s eyes, the sudden grief driving passed his disguise. He sighed and gave in, lowering his head and eyes narrowing. 

‘’Sorry,’’ he apologized to Eren, but he knew Erwin wasn't going to receive the same treatment. Levi turned around to face the taller blond once more and glowered, but nonetheless scarcely calmed. ‘’What can you help with?’’

Erwin looked pleased and stepped further into the room, standing where Eren could better see him. 

‘’I found a doctor in the town up who can get you prosthetics that are supposedly the best around. He also said he could do it anytime you are ready.’’

Eren was aware the only reason the said doctor had such a free schedule was probably Erwin’s doing, but he didn’t ask. Another man that he left their secrets as secrets.

‘’How much?’’ Levi sneered. ‘’I’m sure such a person costs a fortune, huh?’’

Erwin looked displeased at Levi’s attitude once more, but let the look pass him by. ‘’It hardly matters. It’s not a price I can't pay.’’

Both Eren and Levi spoke out to object, Levi out of his own stubbornness and Eren out of the concern that Erwin was doing too much for him. 

Erwin held his hands out to stop the barrage and gave them an abiding smile. 

‘’Please, calm down.’’ he laughed. ‘’I can pay the price, no need to fret or ponder about it so much.’’

Eren shook his head. ‘’You can’t, you’ve done enough.’’

Erwin turned a soft smile to him. ‘’It’s fine,’’ Erwin assured the young man. Eren looked ready to object once more but Levi took his turn. 

‘’You’re just going to shove this in our faces later and ask for favors, aren’t you?’’

Erwin looked taken aback and uncertain about how to reply his eyes searching Levi's grimace. 

‘’Levi!?’’ Eren shot, looking to the man in disbelief. ‘’Erwin wouldn’t do that.’’

Levi looked doubtful and continued. ‘’You probably just feel like if you help out everyone you can now, in the future you’ll have an ass load of people at your feet, prostrating themselves, with favors to pay to you, huh?’’

Erwin looked hurt at the accusations and Eren wanted to reprimand him once more but Erwin beat him to it. 

‘’I wouldn’t do that. You two are like family, believe me, Levi, I just want to help.’’

‘’Tch,’’ Levi uncrossed his arms and looked away, Eren catching the hesitation in his eyes. ‘’Fine. Help all you want but don't comb for any favors in the future, bastard.’’

‘’Levi,’’ Eren murmured once more, disappointed in the behavior but use to it in the end. 

‘’I won't.’’ Erwin laminated, his voice austere and resolute. 

‘’Should we leave you three then?’’ Jean spoke up, Eren almost forgetting his two friends were still there. 

Erwin looked at the two, surprised, having just noticed them.

‘’Kirstein, Arlert.’’ he greeted them even through his questioning stare. 

‘’We’re just here to visit Eren, sir,’’ Armin explained, a smile in place. The usual charm that Armin showed that had gotten him, and even Jean, into one of the most top-quality and prestige school in the city. 

‘’And they’re allowed to be.’’ Levi shot at Erwin. ‘’They can stay here as long as they like.’’

‘’And I don't mind,’’ Erwin assured, ignoring the venom in Levi’s voice like he was accustom to. ‘’ I was just surprised, I heard you two left for the university already. Don’t you have studies to do?’’

Armin held up a book he had, showing it off. ‘’Just a bit, but nothing important. We were given leave to visit.’’

Erwin nodded his head in understanding. ‘’I use to be drowning in paperwork back in my university years and to be brutely honest, I probably wouldn't have bothered to find the time to do something as what you two are doing now,’’ Erwin admitted. 

‘’It’s nothing really. The school hardly gives a shit about where we’re at anyways. So long as we are there for classes and pass our examinations, we’re fine.’’ Jean spoke up, leaning back in his chair, pleased with the praise he received. 

Erwin laughed heartily. ‘’I suppose so. Youth now and days are so nonchalant, I find myself getting envious at times.’’

‘’We’re getting off topic here.’’ Levi intervened. ‘’Are you not only envious of the youth’s freedom, but also of their ability to hold to one conversation and not forget, old man?’’

Erwin kept his entertained smile on, stiffly, getting back to all seriousness. 

They talked about the prosthetics, Eren both grateful, but also fretful. Erwin had always been there to help out the best he could. When they were in need of even the littlest bit of food when he was younger, Erwin was there. It was also then that Erwin and Levi were like brothers. In the past, they had grown up together and were pretty much so, but now they were like fire and ice. Eren wondered what happened between the two, but again, he left their business to themselves. He grew up with that lesson. 'Don't ask questions and just listen.' Live with what you have and be appreciative. 

He was appreciative, but he was still curious.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 842 November 7

 

Eren watched the man as he sat across from him his eyes to a book on the table. 

The reserve that continually and snuggly wrapped around the two was always sickening because it left Eren with blank to go by. Levi was still shrouded in mystery, while to the man, Eren was an apparent open book much like the one he was reading. 

He had easily guessed Eren’s parents either abandoned him or died and he was left on the streets then taken by the whorehouse and forced into the role of a prostitute. It was a speedy outline of his life and he was right on target with everything he said about Eren. That left the boy feeling like there was nothing really about him that made him stand out or distinctive. He couldn’t honestly use; being forced to have sex day in and day out, as a unique characteristic. 

Levi crossed his legs and sighed in unrest, looking up at the meddlesome green eyes. Eren had become accustomed to the indifferent and steely stare of the raven over the past two days, so he seldom backed down from it. They kept that stare for a minute, till Levi gave in with a huff and stood up. 

Eren always reacted apprehensive and restless when he moved about since he had no way of telling what the man was intending. The man hadn’t laid a hand on him since the day they left the bagnio, but Eren had a hard time believing the cold individual to possess such caringness to take in a young child with emptiness in return. Though he had no way of confirming that since Levi had been avoidant of the boy. 

‘’Eat,’’ Levi passed his chair, the push of air as he did, brushed Eren's arms and chilled him to the core. Levi didn't look back to verify if Eren had followed he advise and disappeared into his room. 

The apartment that Levi lived in was inadequate. Prominent compared to the room back at the whorehouse, but meager in actual dwelling capacity. It was cut off from the borough and the door was in one of the most sinister and sordid looking alleys Eren had ever come to pass. The living room, dining room, and kitchen were mashed into one scanty area and there was only one room where the entrance to the toilet was. The only other place in the residence was a small closet by the bedroom and the petite office that the man used as Eren’s place to stay. It was barren before, all but a few crates here and there, and Levi simply threw a duvet into the vacancy and left Eren there to situate everything else. 

Eren sighed and looked back to his food after he obtained Levi wasn’t coming back. 

Along with the tiny living space and audacious hospitality, the food was terrible. Though, he was in no place to judge and complain. He kept his antipathy to himself. 

Eren picked up his fork, poking and prodding at the undercooked eggs and stale bread. He hadn’t eaten anything that left him satisfied in ages so the food he was given for the past couple days, although not pleasing, kept him full. Eren weighed whether to follow through the task he was given but in the end, decided to leave the food untouched and opted to just enjoy the glass of water the man provided with the meal. 

Not even the water was all that great.

Eren stood up, the chair rattling against the floorboards, and did what he had done every day since he got there. Traveled straight for his own room. 

Shutting the door behind him, the thing not even having a latch so it squeaked open with the slightest of breezes, he made his way to the tiny nest of blankets he had made. Curling beneath them, he rested his head against the cold floor and pondered. 

How long was he going to have to stay there? Why had the man nursed him back to his feet? Who exactly was Levi? And what all was to transpire in his future?

Eren let all those unanswered questions mull around in his head, too lazy to think too much on them, but too jaded to let them go entirely. Eren watched the door as it creaked open from some blind soft push, sighing. It was troublesome to leave it ajar, but he had just laid down.

Eren pushed himself to his feet once more and took one of the boxes in the room to prop against the door, though once he made it to the entryway he had a thought. 

Outside of his room, it was still vacant and silent. He knew once Levi retired to his room, it was hours before he came back. A plan surfaced as he observed every corner and every wall of the place. 

The whole place, despite the actuality of the building, was clean and orderly. Everything of Levi’s had a place and it stayed in that single place. He was nitpicky and a clean freak, but his place still appeared off. 

Eren realized he had little to no decorations or homely feel to the house. He kept only practical stuff out and all his intimate belongings were kept in his room. The draws and shelves around the house were full though, so perhaps there was more to the shabby apartment.

Eren crept out of his niche, anxiety that Levi could come out of his own without so much as a warning. The man was light on his feet after all, and Eren rarely ever heard or realized he was by him till he vocalized his presence. 

Eren moved to the first racks, taking in the evidence that Levi in reality, did miss a few spots of dusting here and there even if he appeared so meticulous. He riffled through the books he kept up, finding his taste in reading deprived and quite depressing. The man read a lot of autobiographies of late poets, most of whom lived laborious and miserable lives. Eren moved past those and peered behind the collection. Nothing. 

Turning around he faced the rest of the flat. There were a few cupboards in the kitchen area and Eren was sure the man didn’t keep a wide variety of dishware considering he lived so isolated.

Tiptoeing to the cabinets and hoping they didn’t creak when opened, finding himself praising Levi for his attentiveness to detail and keeping the hinges to his apartment oiled and silent. Eren was surprised to find loads of trinkets and miscellany in the cupboard. The disarray a stark contrast to the rest of the place. Eren carefully moved through it, but standing on his tippytoes was keeping him from achieving a good job. 

Most of the rummage was old jewelry and home decor that was gathering dust in the shelves. He wondered if Levi was once married since all the jewelry belonged to women. Eren moved aside a miniature gold tumbler and the almost non-distinctive rattling from it made him pause. 

He held the goblet up and out of the cabinet and carried it down, peering inside. Hidden within were a small envelope and another article of jewelry, this time a ring. Eren’s theory about the man once being espoused coming together. 

Eren gingerly removed the envelope, glad that it was already opened and he didn't have to pressure himself into whether he should undo it or not. Pulling the flap up and examining the contents Eren was a mite disappointed when he pulled out a couple of photos. He flipped the sheets and found himself staring into the eyes of a younger Levi. 

He set that one aside and looked to the other, being caught off guard when he found himself peering at a woman who looked strikingly like himself. Eren flipped the sheet around to seek a name on the back, wishing Levi kept written messages much like his mother used to. To no avail the back was blank and Eren was left to his imagination. 

The woman looked to be in her young adult years, her eyes shining with the light of youth yet her traits; that of a young woman’s. He couldn't determine what color her eyes were since the photo was a sepia, but they looked prominent like his, that he wouldn't be shocked if they were emerald. She dressed in fine garments and jewelry, much like the ones in the cupboard. Eren studied the way her eyes seemed to dance even though it was just on paper and simply a moment captured onto it. It wasn’t real yet it seemed so.

Eren was debating whether this was Levi’s wife or simply an influential person for him. Maybe a distant relative? But, why would he keep so much of her stuff buried away in his house?

There was a tap on his shoulder and he lurched forward almost like a cat, his hip bumping the counter and the photographs fluttering to the floor and landing face down. 

Eren whipped around and came face to face with the familiar silver eyes of Levi. Eren felt squeamish and despair was coming forth quick. Levi was going to get angry at him. The memory of the blood and a knife being held to his throat surfaced, as it often did when Levi was in a foul mood. Though something seemed off. 

Levi held an amused stare as he regarded the photos on the ground, most likely already aware of what they were without having to pick them up and see. He flashed back up at Eren, the entertainment in his eyes scarier than his lour. He grabbed the scruff of Eren’s shirt and pulled him away from the cabinets sitting him on the divan. 

‘’Snooping are we?’’

Eren whimpered as he was forced to sit and peered up at the man timidly. Levi stood up tall above him, his gaze still abundant of that ominous look yet there was still that hint of his usual coldness. 

‘’I-i was just...curious.’’ Eren stammered, finding it hard to look the man in the eyes and averting his gaze. His feet were suddenly so fascinating to stare at.

‘’Curiosity got the cat killed,’’ Levi smirked. 

Eren whimpered once more and quailed back, his eyes still avoidant. Levi seized a fist full of his hair to yank his head up, overpowering him to meet his unyielding gaze. ‘’You shouldn't mess around with other people’s stuff, brat.’’

Eren bowed his head, hoping the apparent regret that he had over his choices would deteriorate the man’s mania. Levi hummed his approval and let go, taking a step back. 

‘’You lived in a bordello yet you don't know any obedience.’’

Eren wanted to snap back a the mention of the brothel but knew silence was the logical choice. He waited for Levi to continue, the man basking in the scary silence they were creating. 

‘’Learn manners if you want to stay here.’’ Levi finally spoke, this time his voice placid. He put a hand on Eren’s head, surprisingly affectionate and caring, running his fingers through his hair. 

‘’Sorry 'bout that.’’ he murmured brushing away the pain he created on the boy's scalp. After a moment, Eren’s body stiff and waiting for something to follow, Levi let his hand rest back at his side and turned to leave. He picked up the mess Eren made of the cupboard and slid the photos off the floor, taking a quick look at them then returning them to their envelope, placing it all back in place. 

‘’You didn’t finish your food,’’ Levi noted, not even bothering to look at his plate, but knowing well nevertheless. 

Eren wanted to remark that it wasn’t all that appetizing and he doubted even Levi fancied eating his cooking, but he kept his criticism in his head. ‘’Sorry,’’ Eren whispered. ‘’Not hungry.’’

Levi shut the cabinet and didn’t turn to face Eren as he let an upset breath out. ‘’Then go to bed. It’s late.’’

Eren yielded and got up. Hastening yet silent against the floorboards and shutting the door, separating them. Eren waited a while, Levi finally retiring back to his room, so he could scoot the box in front of the door and keep it in place. He took a step back and inspected his job, an exhalation leaving, him thinking. 

Letting go of the burning desire to both leave, yet stay and obey as he had been primed to do, he crawled back into his bundle of blankets. The cold floor below them still touching his skin and sending shivers through his bones. Burrowing into the comforters even more despite the inutility of the action.

Closing his eyes Eren felt the ever presence of being watched. The house was ghostly enough, yet for the past couple days, being alone in the room felt like he was being pried into by unknown eyes. Once he opened his eyes to peer around the room, no one was there. How could there be, Eren would have noticed if there was another body in the close and compact space.

Eren pinched his eyes shut once again, and covered his head with the sheets, the warmth of his breath springing back to brush his skin. It was the best comfort he was getting there, no matter how much he wished for another to be by his side. Before, being alone was the greatest of gifts he was given, but now he felt chills when he was alone, all thanks to the strange house and even stranger owner. 

Eren let all his thought evaporate and at least tried to let sleep overtake him to bring him out of the unfriendly room encompassing him. 

Finally, he found that single solitude.


	4. Fervent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have bad news! The internet on my computer doesn't work right now, and I'm not sure when it will, so I might not post anything for a while. I fixed up this chapter using my phone, then used my data, so the internet speed was hell on earth slow. The chapter also was very speedily edited and read through because the internet kept going in and out, so there might be bigger and more noticeable mistakes than usual! But even though I won't post, I will still be writing, so when the time comes that my computer gets it shit together, I will probably have more chapters to post!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy anyways!! (^_^)
> 
> (Also even though my internet doesn't work on my computer, I'll try my best to keep up with any comments that I might get during that time. Sorry if you try to comment on something and I don't reply for a while if I can't get on.

Das Jahr: 850 März 8

 

The hospital walls and ceiling, even the furniture, were beginning to become headaches. Eren was sick of seeing white from the moment he opened his eyes in the morning to the moment he closed them. He had been told he only had to be there for another two weeks, maybe less, and Erwin had been talking to the doctor in the town over about his prosthetics. 

Eren had thanked the man countless times, but he knew his worries about Erwin spending so much would go over his head. Eren grew up spoiled by him since the time they met when Eren was a young child, so this was no different. 

Eren rested his head back on his pillows, the softness and plush of the filling had gone down over time but he didn’t want to bother the nurses for new ones. They had done enough day in and day out for him and he didn’t want to cause any more trouble than he already had. Eren moved around a bit, fixing them into a more comfortable place then turned his head to the sight, fighting to get sleep to overtake him. 

It had been hours since Levi turned the lights out and headed home, Eren being adamant about the man not staying overnight with him. Levi had fought tooth and nail about it, but he left in the end. Eren wasn’t sure if being alone was the cause for his restlessness, or if it was simply his cunning mind. Huffing again, he carefully turned a bit to the side. 

He couldn’t rest fully on one side due to his stump of an arm, and he couldn't’ rest on the other because his leg that had been amputated from the knee down. It was a pain to always to sleeping and sitting in the same position, but despite the crick in his neck and back and numbness in his bones, there was nothing he could do about it.

There was a light tap at the door and Eren was caught off guard when someone slipped through, a candelabra in their grip. Eren was skeptical about both the intruder and the strange fact they had such an antique looking piece like they just picked it up in the hall. The orange of the flames lit up the intruders face, a small calm washing over him when it was just Ymir. She hadn't visited him yet, but she said she would.

But why so late?

‘’Hey there greenie, you doin’ well?’’ she grinned, her narrow eyes almost haunting in the dim light. 

‘’What are you doing here?’’ Eren murmured, not sure if he was thankful for her taking the time to visit or bothered with the fact it was well past midnight. ‘’How the hell did you even get in here?’’

Ymir snickered and set the candelabra on the desk by his bed, taking a seat in the chair like he owned the place. 

‘’Historia, how do you think?’’

“‘Historia’s here?’’

Ymir hummed in acknowledgment and began to mess with the bag Levi left for him by the bed. He wanted to scold her about it but knew it wouldn’t stop her.

Eren was aware that Historia’s family funded most of the hospital in the cities around there so soldiers and wounded civilians could get good and affordable attention, but he wasn't’ aware that meant Historia could sneak in whenever she pleased. 

‘’You got anything good to eat. I’ve been starved since this morning.’’ Ymir was still rummaging through his pack as she spoke, her eyes narrowing at all the contents, trying to get a better look with the scanty fire. 

‘’No, I only eat when the nurses bring meals,’’ Eren admitted, feeling a bit bad for the woman. 

Ymir sighed and threw the bag back in its place, leaning back in her chair and resting her feet on his bed. ‘’That sucks.’’

‘’Why haven’t you eaten?’’

Ymir smiled slyly and leaned forward, taking her feet off his bed and resting her elbows on her knees. ‘’You haven’t heard?’’

‘’What?’’

Ymir grabbed the candelabra and maneuvered her self to fish something out of her pocket. She pulled out a small sachel and skillfully untied it with one hand, dumping the contents in her hand. 

The gold bands glinted in the light and Eren’s eyes gleamed once he realized what they were. 

‘’Doesn’t Historia know?’’

Ymir smirked again, the two’s heads nearly touching as the hovering over the rings.

‘’Nope, not yet. I’m setting everything up so that’s why I’m busy as hell. It doesn't’ help Historia volunteered for night shifts here.’’

‘’So that’s why you’re here?’’

‘’It’s not to just visit you if that’s what you asking.’’ she chuckled and closed her fist around the rings, returning them back safely to her pocket. She swung the candelabra dangerously around, watching the line of light it left in its trail. 

‘’I hope we can get married before winter, ya know, so we can have an autumn wedding. She's always loved the chilly weather.’’ Ymir shivered as shown at the thought, a smile still present over her face. Eren could tell she was elated and the mood rubbed off on him. 

Eren hummed and returned to his previous spot in bed. ‘’Where are you planning to have it?’’

Ymir shrugged her shoulders. ‘’Armin said maybe in the bigger city by here, close but nice. Though I think me and her would enjoy someplace far off and exotic.’’

‘’Leave that plan for the honeymoon then.’’

Ymir’s eyes glinted at the idea, thankful for the suggestion. ‘’You know, you aren’t that bad at this stuff. Too bad you're still not found someone, you’d make a good housewife.’’ she teased, placing her feet back in their previous spot. ‘’With all the cleaning and scolding you do, I think so anyway. Though you’d never beat Historia as the best wife, she’s just too precious.’’

Eren laughed heartedly at her suggestion but brushed her jokes away. ‘’I don't’ think so. But I do agree about Historia being unbeatable. Back in school, she was popular, I’m still speechless over the fact you were the one who won her over.’’

Ymir grinned even bigger, her smile reaching her eyes and wrinkling them. ‘’I’m just that great then.’’ She beamed. ‘’Speaking of… Reiner said that he found you a job you can do after you get out of here.’’

‘’Reiner?’’ he hadn’t heard from him in years. 

Ymir nodded her head, understanding his concerns. ‘’He just came back into town last week, but he heard about you quickly. He’s still working at the factory and his little cousin’s adorable there.’’

Eren felt nostalgic at the mention of his old friends. It had been years since Reiner left for Calaneth district, working at a factory there. He helped out a lot of people in the war and Eren had even heard his name surface once or twice on the field. He had always wondered how the big guy was doing and he was glad that things were working out well for him. 

‘’What kind of job is he talking about?’’

Ymir shrugged her shoulders. ‘’Something about reading up on things for some business. Though I told him you’re illiterate.’’

Eren wished he could move more so he could shove Ymir on the shoulder, but he opted with a simple playful glower. ‘’I think I’ll be able to handle that. Did he mention if it’s a long time or just a one time job.’’

‘’Didn't’ say much, just the little bits,’’ Ymir replied, she sighed and finally set the candles down. ‘’Let’s talk about something more zoetic.’’

Eren laughed softly. ‘’How about how you and Historia have been doing. Besides the planned wedding.’’ he knew the girl loved to talk about them to others.

‘’Well, Historia’s sister’s trying to get her to return to Utopia, but Historia’s determined to finish her classes here. And be with me of course.’’

‘’Of course.’’ Eren humored. ‘’But that doesn’t sound like very good news to me. How had Historia herself been doing.’’

‘’Fine, well, great.’’ Ymir listed an ever-present grin. ‘’You wouldn't’ believe me, but she went on a protest march last week over the fact that the city’s closing up shops around town to make more room for their factories. She says there’s enough in the industrial districts and by closing up shops, there’ll be no places for passing soldiers and civilians to purchase things they need. The shops that’ll be left will just raise up prices and not to mention, more factories mean more polluted air.’’

Eren could actually see the young woman standing in the streets with a painted wood board in her hands for what she believed was the better good. It suited the blond and despite her usual quiet demeanor, he was sure if you put her in a big shouting crowd, she’d join in.

‘’And what about you? Kick in anyone's teeth in lately?’’

Ymir laughed half-heartedly at that. ‘’You know I don't’ do that stuff anymore.’’

‘’I know, just joking with you.’’

Eren couldn't’ really forget how the two met. It wasn't’ school like the other kids, but rather a back alley in the middle of the night. She was quite scary back then.

‘’Historia’s turned me for the better.’’ Ymir began to brag, sitting up in her chair. 

At the mention of her, Historia came into the room hesitantly, her eyes lighting up with relief when she spotted Ymir. 

‘’I’ve been looking for you everywhere.’’ Historia hissed, keeping her voice down to not disturb the others in the hall. 

‘’Well here you found me.’’ Ymir spread her arms wide, almost like she was inviting her into a hug. Historia rolled her eyes and came fully into the room, closing the door behind her. 

‘’Good evening, Eren.’’ Historia greeted. ‘’Why are you up so late? You should be resting as much as you can.’’

Eren gave her an enduring smile. ‘’Can’t sleep.’’

Historia looked saddened at his words, but he didn't’ mean to make her feel so. He waved his hand dismiss-fully. 

‘’I’ve just been resting all day as it is… it’s hard to sleep so much. I'm just restless and jittery, is all.’’

Historia hummed and moved to his side, checking his pillows. 

‘’Well there’s one of your other problems.’’ she scolded, flicking his forehead. ‘’You should ask for new things every once in a while. I’ll go get you new pillows.’’

Eren wanted to protest but knew if he tried she'd only scold him again. 

When she left and the door clicked behind her, Ymir turned a sparkling eye to him, her eyes cat-like even more than usual. ‘’Told you she makes the perfect wife. So caring and thoughtful.’’

Eren sighed and gave her the best smile he could muster. ‘’Keep bragging and something will come back to bite you in the ass. I was told that before by someone who knows what they’re talking about, so believe me.’’

‘’Where’d you hear that? Mr. Smith. Sounds like the old man.’’

Eren shook his head and leaned back. ‘’Levi.’’

Ymir let out a hearty laugh. ‘’That grump ass. The only thing that sprouts out of his mouth is jokes about hygiene and tricks on how to make the best tea. I doubt you should be taking his words with an open mind. The guys just teasing.’’

Eren wanted to protest, but from others, Levi was just all that. He didn't’ make a great impression in public. Though at one point, Eren himself would have agreed with her. 

Eren pushed the oncoming thoughts of the past aside, not willing to let it drownd him in the middle of a conversation. Ever since he saw that girl on the battlefield something had been nagging him. He couldn't’ fully remember her or why it was his mind was making him forget, but it left him feeling bitter over the past all over again. 

The small hospital room didn't’ help with his thoughts one bit either. 

They talked for a while longer and soon Historia joined them, changing both his pillows and bed sheets. He was thankful over her spoiling him, and even a bit jealous over Ymir, but he never wished to ruin the perfect life the two built together. 

Ymir’s words came back to him, about marriage. He wondered if a bit of what she said was right. He should find someone. Though in the shape he was in and the past he had, he wasn’t sure anyone would want him. He was pretty much walking back of damaged goods.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 842 November 8

Levi watched Eren closely as he cleaned the rest of the house. It was only a few hours back that the man told Eren if he wanted to stay he had to work just as hard as he did. 

Eren still couldn't ‘get a read on the man. At times he was calm and silent, the cold in his eyes just something that was part of his resting face. Then at times, he would just snap. Agitated and pissed over everything and even yelling at Eren on occasions. It left Eren in a state of shaking fervor, but after it was over Levi always spoiled him and took care of him, sure to apologize. 

Levi was close to one of his bad moods, so Eren was trying his best to keep quiet and follow everything he was told. He hoped his effort would go noticed and Levi wouldn’t snap again. The constant brush of the stiff bristles form the broom kept the room from silence, Eren sweeping as best he could with his sore and cut wrists. Behind him he was aware of the steely eyes of the raven, just waiting for his voice to cut through the small peace that had grown so far. 

‘’You’re doing it all wrong.’’ the man hissed. Eren still wanted to fight back, but he stayed silent and halted his movements. 

Levi sighed and pointed to the corners of the room. 

‘’Start from there and work your way to the center. And don’t push the broom like you’re trying to hit a rat, sweep it over the floor slowly and carefully. There’s enough dust around here as is.’’

Eren listened and started in one of the corners, his mind spiriting away to the cabinet next to him. He was still curious about all the things in there and just that morning Levi had dug through it and retrieved one of the rings to wear for the day. 

Eren had the thought that maybe Levi was married and his wife didn’t know about his double life of going to brothels. It wouldn't’ be the first time that Eren had heard of a case like that. Though it was strange that the man was living on his own. Maybe he and his wife broke it off due to Levi’s frequenting, or Levi was visiting whores because of the divorce? 

Eren’s mind was running away simply for the fact that it kept him busy and grounded. Sure the detailed cleaning was mind-numbing, but the silene Levi and he were making was too much of a dull that left him with anxieties. At least all his theories about the man kept him from losing his patients. 

‘’I can hear you thinking from here,’’ Levi muttered, not looking up from his book and flipping a page.

Eren paused once more only to let his hands move again no sooner. There was no point in replying, only cleaning was what he was asked to do. 

‘’What’s on your mind?’’

Eren tried to ignore him for a while, but the man was adamant about his answer and even set his book aside to glare at the boy. Eren finally set the broom to his side and hesitantly met the mans’ eyes. 

‘’Is the book uninteresting?’’ Eren wondered, not meaning to sound like he was being snarky. 

Levi looked partly amused partly irked, with his words and he brushed the book away. 

‘’It doesn't matter, I asked you something, didn’t I?’’

Eren held in his sigh and grabbed the broom again. 

‘’Just wondering what your life’s like.’’

Levi appeared taken aback by his honesty and sat back on the couch, watching as Eren tried to hide his weary face by turning the other way.

‘’Well…’’ Levi motioned around the house. ‘’This is it.’’

Eren looked about and finally let the sigh out. He paused his cleaned once again and silently tapped his finger against the pole. 

‘’I mean… what do you do besides clean and read?’’

‘’Well I use to waste my time in brothels.’’ he brutally replied, causing Eren to cringe silently. ‘’But no thanks to you I don't’ think I’ll be able to show my face around for a while.’’

‘’Aside from that too?’’

Levi watched in muted amazement at the boy’s courageous act of continuing to pester him with questions. He was set on getting answers from Levi, too.

‘’You can clean while we talk,’’ Levi added, before continuing and humoring the boy. ‘’I’m not necessarily employed if that’s what you’re looking for.’’

‘’Anything is fine.’’

Levi hummed and went on. ‘’I move about with jobs from different employers. Almost like you did but more freedom involved.’’ Eren chose to ignore the mocking hint in his voice. ‘’I do odd jobs when I think about it now. Just listening to what I’m given to do and following through.’’

‘’A hit man?’’ Eren wondered. 

Levi laughed at the kid’s casual and carefree reply with such dangerous words. ‘’No, not nessisarly. I can't’ say I haven’t killed anyone for a job before, but I do more jobs like… get someone to one place and keep them out of trouble or simple jobs like delivering shit to people.’’

‘’Are you part of a gang?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Is anything you do illegal?’’ 

‘’Not most of the time. Though I did have to help smuggle illegal goods into the country a month ago.’’

‘’Drugs?’’

‘’Clothes made of the material they don't sell here.’’

Eren hummed and looked back at the floor he was sweeping. 

‘’Does that bore you?’’

‘’Not nessisarly, you just seem like someone more… dangerous, is all.’’

Levi still looked amused. ‘’Continue then.’’

‘’Do you have any family?’’

‘’A sister in Marley.’’

‘’Did you live in the Marley before?’’

‘’She just moved there last year for the war, no.’’

‘’Have you been in the war?’’

‘’Cant’ say I have.’’

‘’Any friends? You seem like someone who distances themselves.’’

‘’I’ll take that as a compliment, and yes. I work for one of them and the other is like a brother.’’

‘’Only two?’’

‘’I‘ve got more, but they are all that popped up at the spur of the moment.

‘’Are you married?’’

There was a pause in their perfect exchange, Eren trying not to back down to the stare he was getting. His curiosity got the better of him in the end. Levi didn’t reply for a moment and Eren waited. 

‘’If you’re asking because you want to know why you’re here, I’m going, to be honest, and tell you-you're not here for sex.’’

Some of Eren’s anxieties left, but not all. ‘’Then why am I here?’’

‘’I thought it was wrong for them to keep a young child there.’’

‘’Does it bother you that I have sex with adults?’’

Levi paused again. ‘’No you can fuck whom you want.’’

‘’Why are you keeping me here?’’

‘’Do you have any place else to go?’’

This time Eren hesitated. Did that mean he was free to go when he pleased? He didn't’ like that idea all that much. ‘’No.’’

‘’My turn then?’’

Eren let his lack of a reply be his answer. Levi took it as a go.

‘’How old were you when you started at the brothel?’’

‘’It was last year so nine.’’

Levi’s eyes widened at that and Eren was sure the man was going to stand up, but he stayed seated. 

‘’Does it bother you now?’’

‘’Not sure. Were you there because you thought it would be cool to sell your body for money?’’

‘’I was forced to work there and made nothing.’’

‘’Thought as much… do you have parents?’’

‘’Died in a factory fire when I was younger.’’

‘’How young?’’

‘’Seven.’’

Levi hummed once more. ‘’Any siblings?’’

‘’I think I have a brother in Marley, much like you… but I’m not so sure, my parents rarely spoke of him.’’

‘’Where are you from?’’

‘’Yarckel, but my family moved here to work near the industrial district.’’

‘’Are you aware that Yarckel was bombed five years ago?’’

‘’Yeah,’’

‘’How long ago was it that you left?’’

‘’Five years ago.’’

Eren looked up to the man to see his face was unreadable. There was no anger yet no curiosity for the questions he was asking. Levi thought about what he said then continued.

‘’Have you ever planned to fight in the war?’’

‘’As a soldier for Eldia, yes.’’

‘’That’s too bad because a child like you would surely die.’’

‘’I would not.’’ Eren shot back, breaking their streak once more.

Levi finally let the amusement back, watching Eren’s flame grow like wildfire. He hit Eren’s nerves once again and the boy was left in that agitated state he often times hid away.

‘’My turn.’’ Eren gritted. 

Levi sat back and motioned him to go.

‘’Where were you from?’’

‘’Same as you, but my family wasn’t as lucky as me and died in the bombing. Lost my mother and little brother.’’

‘’They died in Yarkel?’’ Eren’s voice was low and he finally let is flame diminish into sadness. 

‘’You’re straying from the game, kid. What else?’’

Eren let a moment pass before listening. 

‘’How old were you when you left Yarkel?’’

‘’17.’’

‘’And when you’re family was killed?’’

‘’22,’’ Levi smirked. ‘’That’s a unique way to get a person’s age.’’

‘’Hardly.’’ Eren moved to the next side of the room and continued his sweeping. ‘’Have you ever been married?’’

Levi huffed and crossed his legs, glaring at Eren. ‘’you really want that answer don’t you?’’

Eren met his gaze as confirmation, hiding his fear over the cold steel that looked back. 

‘’Pass.’’

‘’You can’t pass.’’

‘’Since when this isn’t your rules, it’s my house.’’

Eren rolled his eyes but looked away.

‘’Birthday.’’

‘’Irrelevant.’’

‘’Family name?’’

‘’Irrelevant.’’

‘’Did you ever go to a university?’’

‘’Not your business.’’

‘’Played in sports?’’

‘’irrelevant.’’

‘’How about your favorite color?’’

‘’That’s too childish to even answer.’’

Eren’s eye twitched in agitation. ‘’Did I bother you by asking about your wife?’’

‘’Whoever said I have a wife?’’ 

‘’Did you keep me because I look like her?’’

‘’You’re getting off od topic.’’ Levi gritted, his hand turning into a fist.

‘’I think this is perfectly part of this game.’’ Eren shot back ‘’Why do you keep avoiding my question?’’

‘’Fucking. Irrelevant.’’

Eren finally stopped and glance over to the man, his own eyes reflecting just as much anger. ‘’Did she leave you because of your slutty behavior?’’

He could tell Levi was at the end of his rope, but his stupid stubbornness kept him on the wrong track. 

‘’None of your business.’’

‘’So you do have a wife?’’

‘’Do I have to repeat myself?’’

‘’Did then?’’

Levi finally snapped like a well-tethered thread. He was on Eren before he had time to react and shoved him against the wall, Eren’s breath leaving him. Eren coughed and attempted to get more oxygen into his lungs but the arm against his throat was preventing that. Levi’s brought his face so close to Eren’s he could feel his breath on his skin. 

‘’Say one more fucking thing, and I’ll kill you.’’ he spat, his voice dangerously low and eyes shining with the intent to follow through with his words. 

Eren weakly fought against him, but the man was much stronger than him. 

‘’Y-you… did you do this to her too…didn’t you...?’’

Levi’s eyes widened and he finally let go, letting Eren tumble to the ground and gag on the air he was finally breathing in. Eren looked up at the man, his eyes foggy form the tears that were forming. 

‘’You act like this all the time, were you like it before?’’

Levi looked down at the boy in disbelieving his eyes still wide. 

Eren didn't’ know where all his gallantry was coming from but he had heard about people like Levi from the brothel. Men and women who abused their loved ones, yet the relationship stayed the same. Most of the time either side of the pair would come to the brothel to forget about their other and Eren was always revolted at the fact at the abuser still expected all the love and attention and the abused usually still gave it. It was rarely ever heard of that the relationships were worked out. Though Eren didn't have much room to judge because when it came to Levi, he was taking all the punches silently, what was there to do?

It was probably the fact that the man always looked full of regrets over what he did and almost seemed like he came out fo a trance every time. 

Eren held a hand up to his throat still gaging and coughing, he wasn't sure when ti would stop and his stomach was twisting at the constant tug and pull. Levi still watched him silently Eren peering up once more just in time as the other kneeled down in front of him and helped him up. 

Eren’s legs buckled under him and he fell against the wall once more, his eyes squeezing shut as the coughing became more violent. 

‘’Eren… Eren, you all right?’’

Levi gripped his wrist, paining the cuts form the cuffs but that was all nothing from the lack of oxygen. He finally got ahold of his breath, just as he was sure he was going to lose it and vomit everywhere. He met Levi’s eyes, his eyes full of something distant like he was looking in on something else. Some scene Eren couldn’t see. 

That was probably the other reason he felt helpless against the man’s abuse. He was curious as to what was causing him the pain to do what he did.

Eren nodded his head and took in another steady breath. ‘’Fine…’’

Just as Eren was about to push the man back, something he rather wished wasn’t there brushed against him. Eren stilled as he realized Levi was aroused, his eyes widening and avoiding meeting with the man’s questioning stare. Levi caught on quickly and pulled away, pushing Eren back against the wall and stepping back alarmed. 

‘’You…’’ Eren finally met the man’s silver eyes again, pained to see they still had that blank yet shocked look to them.

‘’Shut the fuck up.’’ Levi snared and turned away, leaving to his room with all but the slam of the door to null the silence that followed. 

Eren fell back to his knees, holding his chest and still struggling to steady himself. 

‘’What the hell is wrong with you…’’ Eren murmured, unsure as to whom the words were aimed at.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god, this chapter might have so many grammar errors or strange sounding sentences, but I don't have the time to edit it well! Sorry!!


	5. Incandescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! it's only been, like, three or four days, but with this fic, I thought the chapters were so short that I'd make a streak of posting one a day. Guess I'll try again.  
> I'm not really proud of my writing right now, I feel like it's becoming worse and less thought of, but I hope I can just keep working myself out of this rut. Anyway, enjoy!! !(^^)!
> 
> Also, I have a Tumblr that you guys can ask me anything about the story or just chat if you have any questions. Also, I draw a bit, but it's just a hobby like my writing so I promise nothing special. 
> 
> https://merci-this-tea-is-f-cking-great.tumblr.com/
> 
> (I don't know how to link things properly, so I hope this helps.-.-)

She was there. Her eyes just as dark yet caring as he recalled, her hair just as inky yet beautiful as he last saw it before. She wore the same plain clothes as when she was a child and her smile…

Her smile was what he never managed to forget. 

Even as the years went on and he didn’t recall a single thing of the girl, Eren always tossed and turned at the memory of that soft smile. A smile that was endearing, a smile that was pleasant, a smile that was heartening. He never put a face to it, never a name, but nonetheless, it was there. 

And it was unmistakably hers. 

‘’Eren,’’ she spoke, keeping her distance, but by his side no matter what. 

Eren returned her soft smile with a grin of his own. 

‘’It’s been awhile,

‘’Mikasa,’’

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 850 März 30

‘’How you doing buddy.’’

Eren sneered at the comment but a small smile forming nonetheless. 

‘’Don’t 'buddy' me, pal.’’

Jean amused a chuckle and handed him a bag. ‘’Then don’t 'pal' me.’’

Eren quirked an eyebrow but moved his attention away from their spirited bickering. The bag that Jean had handed to him was a bag that the factory workers tended to use for lunch and if he didn’t know better he would have guessed that Jean brought him a sandwich. Though what was in the bag was just as unusual. 

‘’Mum asked me to give it to you,’’ Jean informed as Eren pulled out the stuffed bear. 

It would have seemed childish, but bears in Shinganshina were expensive and were known for the luxury of them. They were mostly made in the village then shipped off to larger and more populated cities, even to other countries. It was rare for a family in Shinganshina itself to own one. 

‘’You sure you weren’t in on it? Even a little? The childish charm seems like you.’’

Jean scoffed and pat the bear on its head. ‘’She did it all by herself. Though, I did name it.’’

Eren smirked and held the present away from his reach, watching as it’s beaded eyes gleamed from the light of the window. 

‘’And what shitty name did you give it?’’

‘’Suicidal bastard.’’

Eren laughed weakly at the joke. ‘’Where did that come from?’’

‘’Seemed like you. Everyone told you, you shouldn't have gone out, yet you did. Idiot.’’

Jean lightly tapped his shoulder, the worst of the pain had gone away weeks ago. 

‘’But now I look like a badass and can say I survived the war.’’ Eren praised. ‘’Plus with the prosthetics Erwin has been showing me, I think I’ll just look even more badass.’’

Jean didn’t look amused anymore and Eren almost believed he was taking his boastfulness to seriously. ‘’It’s a joke. To be honest the prosthetics look troublesome-’’

‘’That’s not it,’’ he muttered. ‘’It’s just... why do you act so carefree about all this. Didn’t you want to join the restorationists once the war ends? People are talking and they say that it’s not going to last more than a couple more years.’’

Eren cast his eyes down and studied the bear. 

‘’It’s fine. I just helped earlier. I knew the risk.’’

Jean still observed unsatisfied but he was interrupted when Hange came into the room with a whoop. Surely too loud for hospital conduct.

‘’Eren~’’ she sang, gliding to his side like a breeze. ‘’How you feeling?’’

‘’Fine. You ask this every day.’’

‘’And you look gloomy every day.’’ She added.

He gave Hange a smile, Jean halfheartedly stepping aside so the woman could get through. 

‘’So has Erwin said anything about your prosthetics?’’

‘’He’ll get them sometime next week.’’

‘’So soon?’’ Jean marveled. 

‘’Yeah, he’s got an eye for getting good deals.’’

Hange looked sullen at Eren’s words, Eren not understanding the sudden mood change. She quickly banished it though and returned to doting. 

‘’I think if I recall it’s someone's birthday.’’ she hummed, grabbing a bag she had skillfully hidden from him. 

The gift was more elaborate and the bag was one that was made for presents. It shone in the light and had designs and color to it. Eren praised her and opened it, surprised to find a simple notebook. 

‘’It might look plain and boring, but I got it from the industrial district. It’s a product they’re working on that’s waterproof and supposedly hard to damage, for soldiers to take with them on the field.’’

Eren smiled endearingly at the gift. It was always like Hange to get something that essentially seemed unneeded, yet was loved and cherished. Though, Eren had to admit it was tolerably neat. 

‘’Speaking of industrial.’’ Jean perked up. ‘’I heard you’re leaving for Liberio?’’

Hange clapped her hands together at the mention and her eyes lit up. ‘’Yes, sometime within the next year. The country’s looking for new scientists and ~’’ she pointed her fingers at herself. ‘’You just so happen to be looking at one of the most renowned scientists in Eldia.’’

Eren laughed at her hearty bragging and set the book aside. ‘’I heard you have a benefactor there too?’’

Hange nodded, her tied back hair bouncing up and down. ‘’Onyankoypon. He’s got millions to his name you know and with his help, I’ll be able to do so much more!’’

Jean and Eren exchanged an amused look. They were happy for her, but it wasn't the first time they had heard about her soon to be new life in Liberio.

‘’Be sure to knock some heads and save some lives out there.’’

Eren turned to the doorway towards the new voice to find Levi there, his hand up almost like he was ready to knock on the door despite it already being open and him being acknowledged. 

He held up a box and bag, coming inside. 

‘’Brought you something.’’

Eren set them on his lap, the others crowding around. Levi always somehow got the most elaborate gifts for him. 

‘’You know, with all the things you get every year, I’m beginning to think this is why you have money problems,’’ Hange noted, jabbing her elbow into Levi’s side playfully. 

‘’Can’t spoil the brat enough I guess. He’s growing up too damn fast.’’

‘’18 isn't that old. Wait till he’s as old as you then start saying that.’’ Hange teased. 

‘’Don't think he’ll be around to do so,’’ Eren added to her joke, flipping the paper over the box to open it. ‘’This better not be something too expensive, you’ve spent enough on the hospital.’’

‘’Just open it,’’ Levi advised. 

Eren humored him, but opened it as slowly as possible, earning a snicker from Hange. ‘’He’s got you patients in methodicalness I guess.’’

After a while of light bickering and side notes, Hange and Eren both being knocked over the head lightly, Eren pulled out the framed pictures with wide eyes.

It wasn't a lot but photographs, like the ones in front of him, cost fortunes. Eren’s eyes scanned the expanse, taking in all the pictures. The ones of just him, of him and Levi the ones of his friends from school, ones of Levi and Hange younger, even a couple with Erwin, which surprised him since it was a gift from Levi. He let the reflection hit his eyes before turning to the man. 

‘’This is…’’

‘’If I recall, in the jumble of jobs you wanted to pursue a year back, you mentioned photography. I took some of the ones you took and a few from storage and got Petra to make these.’’ He tapped the glass.

Eren was a bit more untroubled that it was Petra whom he got them from since surely he got a better price considering they were old friends. Though, the fact that the gift was so luxurious itself, even without a price tag to it, he felt elated. Where was he even going to put it? 

‘’Thanks.’’ He opted for the simple gratitude, over his zealous joy.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 842 November 9

Eren curled up around himself, the sheets over his body, hardly doing anything against the piercing icy coldness. 

It was close to winter and the days of autumn were just getting colder and colder. On the streets, Eren had come to get used to such harsh and cold weather. He had coats and blankets he constantly kept with him and when he joined his old group of friends, they had even more things to keep him warm. On snowy nights they even curled up together and rested bundled up.

Now he was alone for the winter. Levi’s apartment had thin walls and the windows did nothing to seal off the bitterness from outside. There was only the stove in the kitchen that heated up the air, and that hardly reached around the house. It didn’t help that he was only given a single blanket and not even a pillow to keep his head off the stone floor. 

From outside his room, he could hear Levi messing around in the kitchen. 

Eren had said he wasn’t hungry and the man, in turn, told him to turn in for the day, even if the sun hadn’t fully disappeared yet. Eren learned fast that it was either what Levi chose, or nothing. 

There was the rattling of pans from a cabinet then the click and strike of a match. Eren was envious when he heard the faint cracks of fire come to life. Levi was definitely basking in the warmth against the oncoming winter air. 

Another shiver racked Eren’s body and he twisted around even more.

Levi had told him he was free to change his mind whenever, but Eren wasn’t going to be doing that anytime soon. Not since the night before. 

Eren’s stomach growled, almost as if knowing that he was being stubborn and was trying to coax him into giving in. Eren ignored it’s crying though. 

The smell of food wafted through the door and Eren was almost sure the good smelling food was cursing him. Had Levi suddenly learned how to cook, now that he was refusing to eat? Eren was so tempted just to give in and go out, but he didn’t. 

Eren couldn't get that one thought out of his head. 

Levi had said he wasn't there for sex, and the man had shown no desire for him for the first few days. It wasn’t till the night before that Eren was sure the man had gotten hard during their spat that he felt true fear once again. 

It made enough sense for Levi to lust over him. He had been to a brothel and he clearly had issues with his love life. He was cold and unwell socially, yet he took in a child out of ‘the kindness of his heart’. It didn’t help anything that Eren looked strikingly like - whom he assumed - his wife. 

Eren had been thinking about it nonstop for the whole day. During his cleaning, during his hiding away in his room and even then, as he laid in bed for the night. 

Was Levi trying to hold back? The prospect of that seemed almost… charming to Eren. he hadn’t ever met a client who ‘held back’ for his sake. They only took what they wanted, treating him like the slut he was made into. It felt generous that Levi was holding back, but it also made Eren sick to the core. 

Levi treated him like he had no interest in him and played it as so with harsh words and unkind treatment. It was akin to being treated unfairly at the brothel, the only thing lacking was the sex. If Levi tried anything, Eren was sure that he wouldn’t be able to stop it, even if he wished to. 

And that was where he came to his deepest thoughts on the matter. 

Maybe the staleness in the air around them was created because of that barrier. Maybe Levi needed the attention, but he was unwilling to stoop so low as to violate a kid. Was it Eren who had to make the first moves on the matter, and if so would it get Levi out of his odd behavior and violent manners?

Was giving himself fully over to the man the way to bridge that gap between them? And why was he so intent on doing so?

Eren was puzzled over his interest in the man. It wasn't sexual, but it wasn’t simple curiosity. He felt the need to be close to him, yet he couldn't with the way things were. 

In the end, Eren was detached.

\---

After a few hours, Levi finally retired to his room, the soft clock of his door set in place, echoing in the still apartment. 

Eren heard the splash of water being dumped into the tub in the bathroom and wondered if Levi had heated up water on the stove. It would have explained the sudden slight warm and humid air in the otherwise cold and dried house. 

Eren waited a while longer till he finally heard the distinctive sound of tranquillity that meant Levi finally turned in for the night. 

The apartment was so silent it was eerie. Eren swore he could hear the whisper of dust in the air as he laid there. 

After a count to a hundred, Eren got up and disrupted that calm with the crushing and scratching of fabric. His light feet creaked the floorboards below and his heels stuck to the ground ever so often adding to the dull. Eren was fearful that Levi would realize he was up, but he didn’t come out of his room to scold him, so he must have truly been asleep. 

He was outside of the room before he knew it. The front door was right there and outside freedom was a hair away, but he didn’t move to that freedom. 

Turning to Levi’s room, his steps as silent as the mice roaming about, he closed in on the door and made his final decision. 

Even though it was stemmed from loneliness, Eren never realized that the whole time he was out there, there was one other form beside him. A form he wouldn’t come to realize was there, or who she was, till times later. 

She watched on silently at the boy as he rested his hand on the knob, her head tilting to the side. 

She had been watching the pairs' exchange for days and couldn't figure out why the boy was still so resolute on staying by the man’s side. The man was cruel and obviously sinister. But the young boy still had that glint in his eyes that were akin to admiration, even if the boy himself never realized it.

She couldn't surmise. 

She watched as the boy turned the knob and stepped into the room, clear fear but also unwavering resolve on his features. 

The girl wondered if maybe the cold and desolate autumn nights were causing the boy pains. Was he lonely? Why hadn’t he noticed she had been by his side. Watching over him as he rested to ensure he never had a bad dream. 

She didn't know him and although for the many years and ages she roamed the empty house, only the man with her and never anyone else, she never understood why she was there to begin with. She couldn't look back to the first day and she didn’t have the power to know when it would end. 

The boy was the only change in her everyday routine and he affected the man the same way. It made her feel jealous, but she didn't understand those emotions yet. 

The door to the room shut, blocking her from the two. She could slip through and see what would come next, her mind reeling as to what the boy’s plans were, but there was something stopping her from doing so. The air felt wrong. It felt like it was tearing her apart and something disastrous was going to transpire. 

She didn't want to see such an act that she had no concept of what it was.

Though, she felt troubled for the child. Was the man going to finally let go of that single thing he had been holding back and hurt him, maybe even kill him? The girl had known the man for so long, watching without him realizing, that she knew he was twisted. He had that demeanor about him that screamed for one to run the other way. 

But the foolish boy was moving towards that aura? Why?

The girl stayed by that door for a while longer, the silence of the house ghostly, till it all broke and the girl realized that maybe the world was a bit crueler than she first presumed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise after all this is done and over with; Eremika will prevail!!


	6. Fervid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, another chapter of explicit content. (Like the whole chapter!) It's between Levi and Eren, so, I guess, another warning here. But, I promise Eremika is end game!! Just a little longer before the two actually meet though.
> 
> Enjoy!! (^.^)

Mikasa was lost as of what to do? She had no disposition towards the man she had learned just recently went by, Levi, and couldn't speak to him nor call out to him over all those years. But, the boy seemed close to notice her.

Late at night as he tossed and turned in his sleep, resting in the room Mikasa had claimed as hers over the years, she would rest her hand on the boys. She didn't know if it touched him since whenever she uses to reach out to Levi with curiosity, her hands slipped through and he didn’t even bat an eye. The boy on the other hand responded. His face relaxed and his fears rolled away. 

Mikasa could feel his warmth, a feeling she hadn’t ever explored before. It was human. Something she was not.

In the earlier hours of the night, when the boy had just returned for the evening, he would glance about the room with roaming eyes, almost like he knew she was watching. 

She felt bad always snooping around in other people's business, but the boy and Levi were the only somebodys she knew, and it wasn’t like the apartment was all that big, so she had to watch one of them. It helped the time pass by.

Before, Mikasa always felt nauseated watching Levi. 

She didn't hate him all that much, as she deemed, it was more as she felt misplaced around him. His ill mind and indifferent gaze sent chills to her bones and his actions day in and day out were usually the same, only on small occasions did he break them. 

And those were the times that made her feel the sickest to the core. 

Levi rarely had guests over. Sometimes a woman with glasses would appear and they would coltishly bicker. Other times it was a blond male, who had an air of grandeur about him. Other than the two, there was no one else. 

She thought the man lonely, like herself, and felt a kinship toward him. His strifes with life were also condoling, so he seemed well enough to an outsiders eye. But it was the little times that she noticed something off. 

Sometimes Levi would go into his cupboard, where he stored all the pretty jewelry and trinkets. He never cleaned in there and kept it a hodgepodge, but he knew where everything was so it was fine with him. He would pick out an envelope and look at the two pictures inside, Mikasa never getting the chance to see them out of fear of nearing the man and being caught. Though no one ever detected her, it was just her mind messing.

After a while, his eyes astonishingly soft, he would pull out a ring. Mikasa never understood where her knowledge in things came from, but she knew it was a wedding ring. The blond man had one and the glasses lady spoke of them, maybe that was where she learned about them?

He would fit the ring onto his finger the band barely fitting comfortably, but it didn't appear to bother him. 

He would go about his normal cycles, but Mikasa noticed he returned to his room earlier on those days.

Before, she made it a rule never to trample the man’s personal space - his room. She kept to the smaller room on another side of the apartment. Once his door shut at night, that was the end of their ‘interactions’ till the morning following. But curiosity got the better of her one day. 

The man held the ring and he disappeared into his room as usual. Mikasa followed him this time and was surprised to find his room was more physical looking than the clean and straight outside. He had a few books set uncaringly on his desk, a few shirts here and there, and his bed wasn't even made. It looked nothing like the man she had become to know. And it was a piece more hair-raising than usual. 

That was the night Mikasa understood something was off with the man. 

He laid in bed calling out to a woman Mikasa had never heard the name of, touching himself and moaning. 

Mikasa was revolted. She didn't realize what he was doing, why he was doing it. His face wasn’t one of pleasure either, but frustration. She didn’t understand what love was back then, or the actual intimacy of what the man was doing, but she knew it was wrong somehow.

After that night, Mikasa never returned to the man’s room and nevermore saw the man the same again. 

After that, she realized the strained discussions between his friends for the first time, the sorrowful and pitiful looks they gave Levi when he said something and the avert looks they gave him when he mentioned certain things. She never noticed those before. 

She also realized the man was angered a lot. On edge, a tightens and taunt sting, ready to snap and cut into the nearest victim. 

And in time that victim was the boy.

Mikasa broke that rule she made her self and followed the boy inside that night, alarmed over the scene that played out before her, a scene she couldn't understand yet once again, knew was wrong.

She watched as the boy straddled the man, Levi waking up and looking shocked up into the green eyes of the boy. The boy seemed determined, Mikasa noticed. Was this something he wanted to do? Then why was he also so frightened and shaky?

Levi tried to push the boy away, furious and outraged - grumbling about this and that - but the boy stayed in place. 

It wasn’t till he ground his hips down onto the older man’s groin that Levi quit struggling so much. Both of them moaned at the movement, and Levi gripped the boy’s wrists tightly, drawing blood from an unknown wound, turning the cuffs of the boy’s shirt dark red. He made no notice to it though. 

They shifted about like that for a while longer, Levi still with that frustrated look on his face, but the boy’s eyes were shut and his mouth opened the tiniest bit. He looked like he was being pleasured, but Mikasa could see the concern he was trying to hide. The frightening dread the boy had. 

Mikasa did what she knew was best, but not really what she wanted. 

She turned and fled, leaving the door open with the most diminutive crack and retreating back to the room that was no longer just hers. The moans and grunts from the two in the other room, uncensored through the walls no matter how much she covered her ears and curled up against the sound, never ceased. 

She wanted to help the boy, maybe even Levi too, but she couldn’t. She yearned to stop the scene that was playing out, one she was sure neither wanted but were tearing through for foreign reasons to her. She was lost. What was she supposed to do? What could she do?

The cries of the boy were distressing, sending unknown disorder to her chest. He sounded in pain but the fact that he moaned every here and there told her that they were both straining through that barrier that was clearly in place. Even if it tore them apart they still lingered on.

Was this what the world was?

It was cruel, now that she thought about it.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 842 November 9

 

Eren was shoved onto the mattress below them. The pain in his wrist from the injuries a few nights ago sent signals to his brain to react, but he held his whimpers back.

Levi was over him, glaring down at him with malicious and irritated eyes. Eren would have thought that was all there stood and he was going to be reprimanded for what he had done, but there was a glint of something more in the silver. 

Eren knew that look wasn’t directed at him and that made it all the more permissive.

Eren moved his knee up to rub at Levi’s crotch, his cock was already hard under the fabric. Above him, Levi’s face turned to a hard scowl, his teeth grinding together, holding back a groan that Eren knew wanted to leave his lips. 

‘’You piece of shit.’’ Levi gritted, his grip on Eren becoming so tight, that the whimper of pain finally left him. 

Eren was aware of the blood running down his wrists and arms, and soaking through his shirt to stain Levi’s hands. The night before, the marks were an ugly shade of red and yellow - already infected - making the pain a hundred times worse. He didn’t ever have a chance to clean them, so maybe with the blood on Levi’s hands, after everything was said and done, he’d let Eren have a chance to wash them.

Eren strained his knee up once more, knowing full well what pleasures he was giving the man. 

Levi cursed under his breath and let one of his hands leave Eren’s wrists to grip Eren’s thigh and pull his leg down to the bedding, ending the friction. Eren could see the clear frustration Levi was going through by doing so. He desired that feeling, but not from Eren. Not yet.

Eren let his own discomfited breath out, trying to free his leg from the man. 

‘’Th-this is what you want, isn’ it!’’ Eren whined, letting his other leg rise to continue stimulating Levi’s crotch. Levi let that one go, and let out a grunt, his eyes pressing shut for a moment, only to open with a new light. 

A look of something dangerous, that made Eren second guess his decision. 

‘’Is this…’’ Levi let out a moan that was unbefitting of the man, startling Eren. ‘’is this out of… your own satisfaction? Is this what you want?’’ the man sneered, flashing agitation at the boy beneath him. 

Eren shook his head, assuring Levi, trying to stop that anger from being leveled at him so harshly. So bitterly.

‘’No, i-i’m doing this for you.’’ he mewled, shifting uneasily, his eyes avoidant and his knee stilling. ‘’You can do wha-ah-nnng!’’

Levi let go of Eren’s thigh and moved his fingers up, seizing Eren through his pants. Eren moaned and withered in place, helpless to stop the onrush of sensations racing through him. No one had ever bothered to touch him like that before and it was sending a peculiar tightening excitement in his stomach that he was nervous to let continue.

Back at the whorehouse he rarely ejaculated, in the beginning, he couldn’t simply out of humiliation and the pain, then, one time one of his clients were able to arouse him enough to make him cum against his will. After that Eren was so horrified over it he never could ejaculate again, no matter how much his clients tried, he was never stirred. 

Levi was breaking all of that. Eren over the last few days had grown somewhat familiar to the man, unlike his customers, but it wasn’t something he could call love. Nothing intimate, just close. It was probably that facility that was making it so easy for Eren to let go and let himself get lost in that slight blissed feeling. Even if it wasn’t what he wanted to do.

Soon Eren was degraded to a moaning mess, thrusting back into Levi’s hand. His eyes had been squeezed shut for so long, that when he opened them it took a moment for them to adjust. He peered up at Levi to find the man’s face more concentrated, rather than pleasured. He was trying to make Eren feel good, setting himself aside.

Eren felt his stomach plunge, the closeness he was to climaxing in his drawers was slipping from him, and he let out an alarmed cry.

‘’S-stop!’’

Levi froze, but his hand still lingered where it was, pressing hard onto his crotch, keeping that meager stimulation without the friction. Eren was almost tempted to just give up and start moving again, but he stayed as was, and looked up at Levi with imploring eyes. Levi’s own were almost vacant, with a tinge of lust, but Eren could see the sparse trepidation there. It made Eren feel even more at ease to know that, but he still saw the whole thing as something unhealthy and wrong.

‘’You… don’t do that.’’ Eren breathed. His eyes closing again, pondering about what he wanted to say, but no words coming to mind to make it clear. ‘’Just… just do what you want. Don't chafe m-...Don't worry about me.’’

Levi studied the boy below him, his face flushed red and eyes teary, while Levi still looked composed, just the smallest hint of sweat peeking out from above his brow. ‘’What?’’ Levi leered. He continued his movement, adding more urgency then slipping his hand under the fabric. Eren let out an even more emphatic moan than all the ones before, but this one was also laced with alarm and horror. Eren’s eyes opened wide, surprised with the sudden heat of Levi’s hand caressing him without anything in the way.

‘’What makes you even think this is what I want?’’ Levi growled, leaning low to nearly hiss in the boy’s ear. A shiver ran down his spine as his hot breath tickled him. ‘’You just come in here and assume I want this? To have sex with a harlot? A bitch who sleeps with anyone who shows up, saying he was forced to do it when right now you act as if you want it.’’

Eren let out a startled yelp when the man wrapped his hand around his cock, squeezing harshly. ‘’I-i.’’ He was sure he was going to succumb to it, whine and beg right then and there. He wasn’t sure if it was the pleasure or fear that was making his eyes so blurry with tears. ‘’Just pretend.’’ he murmured, his voice coming out in a drawn-out whine. 

Levi bent down lower, letting go of his wrist to grip one of his hips and steady him. ‘’What was that?’’

Eren moved his head from one side to the other, wishing Levi’s face wasn’t so near. From this close, he could clearly see the storm in the raven’s eyes. 

‘’Just pretend!’’ Eren keened, the feelings from below, messing with his head above. ‘’Just imagine I’m her!’’

Levi finally looked truly hesitant, his hand stilled completely, but Eren had lost it already at some point and was mindlessly thrusting into his fist. Levi retreated his hand from the boy’s pants and gripped his shoulder, almost like he was keeping himself up. 

Eren groaned at the loss and tried to lift his hips to get anything, even just a little. He was so close and it had been so long since he let go like that. 

Levi grit his teeth, Eren swearing he could hear them cracking under the pressure. The man pinched his shoulder, tighter than he was at his wrists, causing Eren to forget about his desire and shout out in pain. He tried to move out of the grip, but just as soon as the pain washed over Eren’s body, Levi released him and returned his hand to his hip to keep Eren still.

‘’You won't let that go, will you?’’

Eren paused, his eyes searching through Levi’s flames. ‘’I- back at the…’’ Eren was losing breath from all the emotions that were assaulting him at once, but he pulled in a few gulps and collected himself as best he could. ‘’This helps… I heard.’’

Levi tilted his head, watching and scrutinizing. ‘’Helps?’’

‘’A lot of people like you do this. It’s why you went to the brothel right?’’ Eren whimpered, still withering in the man’s grip despite the vise-like strength. ‘’To pretend that the others were her. You won't be angry all the ti-aah’’

Eren keened as the man resumed his hand over Eren’s crotch, this time slipping into his pants sooner and reaching lower. He squeezed at Eren’s ass, causing more squeaks and whimpers. It wasn't exactly encouraging ones, and Levi knew the displeasure coursing through the boy below him, but he couldn't stop himself. Not now.

‘’I guess you’re right.’’ Levi groaned, leaning down even lower, his chin on Eren’s chest. He rubbed his other hand along Eren’s thigh and up his torso, searching over the expanse of his ribs. Once he found a bud, he pinched hard. Not pleasingly but not enough to cause Eren too much pain.

Eren finally felt the tears roll down his cheeks and into his hair, his eyes too foggy to even see the burning embers in Levi’s eyes anymore. It was probably for the best, anyway.

After a while of groping and squeezing - Eren just laying there and taking it all and Levi getting lost in his own fantasies - Eren let out a startled shriek and released in his pants, arching his back. The sticky, wet and warm feeling between his legs uncomfortable. After his vision came back and he squeezed away the tears and settled back down, he looked up to find Levi staring down at the mess he had made, regarding his hand with repugnance. 

It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to make him feel unbelievably dirty below. 

Levi got up on his knees and reached over to his desk, taking a folded shirt down and using it to wipe the cum off his hand. He still looked unsure about the cleaning job, but overlooked it and glanced down at the blissed-out boy below him.

Eren was panting, his chest rising and falling. His nipples were a harsh shade of red and his face and rest of his upper body just the same. 

‘’What do ya know?’’ Levi hummed. ‘’You really aren’t a little brat then, you actually came?’’

Eren half-heartedly shook his head. ‘’Not a kid.’’ he murmured. He could feel his eyelids getting heavy and talking was too much of a nuisance. 

‘’Just like I just said. At least not a kid in terms of this...’’ Levi let an amused smile out, startling Eren. ‘’you really are a bitch.’’

Eren wanted to disagree, but he had heard that word uttered from so many mouths that it nearly meant nothing to him. 

He was about to close his eyes, maybe sleep and wake up full of repentance and dread, but the familiar rustling of clothes being removed halted his desire. Above him Levi was removing his shirt, throwing it to the ground, uncaring of the mess he was making. Eren's eyes widened but he didn’t resist as Levi began to unbutton his own nightshirt. 

‘’We’re not done yet.’’ He whispered in his ear as he pulled Eren’s arms out of the sleeves, leaving the fabric under him, fanned out. ‘’You should know better than to cum without even getting the one doing all the work to go first.’’ 

Eren took a steady breath and held in his objections. Though, what was he expecting? He hadn’t meant to cum, he only meant to get Levi off in hopes to stop his constant episodes for a bit. He was too tired, but he wasn’t going to just give up without having done what he came there to do in the first place.

Eren lifted his hips shakily when Levi went to remove his pants, the man keeping his own on for the time being. 

‘’You’re all skin and bones…’’ Levi muttered. He was trying to sound pissed and let down, but Eren caught the concern in his eyes. That was normal for Levi - Eren had come to realize. The man acted all aloof, but he actually cared. At least that’s what Eren told himself as Levi brought his hand up to his face, pushing his fingers against his lips.

‘’I don’t have any oil, so…’’

Eren obeyed, understanding what Levi was getting at. 

Although most of Eren’s clients at the bordello had been unkind, or uncaring of Eren’s well being, they had always used a lubricant. Even if they didn’t spend a lot of time on preparations it made the act a bit easier on Eren. He had never done it without oil, so the thought was bringing newfound fears on what was to come. Even more so than before. 

Levi shoved his fingers into Eren’s mouth, none too kindly, Eren trying his best to coat them with his own saliva and not gag at the intrusion or thought. Levi looked disgusted at the act too but moved his fingers around almost like he was testing the feel of the inside of his mouth. When he finally pulled his fingers free, he brought them to Eren’s entrance, and with no warning, he pushed forward. 

Eren keened at the intrusion. It wasn’t from pain, he was all used to it even if Levi started off with two. It was from the suddenness. Levi was in a hurry. There were no signs before he added a third, no warning when he thrust his fingers in and out at a speed that Eren was surprised didn’t hurt his wrist, and no tell-tale look of warning when he added yet another finger. 

Eren felt the slight pain with that, the sting from the added intrusion. It was over a year that he had been at the brothel and he had come to get used to the pain, to the point that a patron rarely ever hurt him too badly like at the start. But, Levi almost seemed to be trying to get that pain to be present. A punishment maybe?

Eren yelped when Levi began to spread his fingers, adding more strain to his muscles and taut skin, it felt almost like he was being tortured. Finally, after Levi seemed satisfied and new tears had been added to Eren’s face, Levi pulled out, and much to Eren’s horror, his body was reacting against the loss. It wanted it back. 

Eren held in another cry of alarm, not wanting to give in to the fact that he wanted more. It was the first time he had ever felt like that, and it revolted him that it was for Levi. Levi still noticed though and gave another one of his twisting, bizarre smiles. 

‘’Take you out of the whorehouse, but you still act like a proper whore?’’

Eren so badly wanted to snap back, yell at the man that was demeaning him, acting like it was his choice to be in the role of a slut. But, he stayed silent. Even if he didn't choose to be in the brothel, he chose to sneak into Levi's room and seduce him, even though he knew Levi wouldn’t approve it. 

It was for the best. 

Eren told himself that over and over. Levi seemed like he could be a good guy, but there was something holding him down. It was the simple pent up ferocity that the man let out suddenly that ruined him. Messed with his mind and turned Levi into what he was. He needed to let it out and if he let it out in such a vicious yet intimate way, then maybe it would calm his urges somewhat. 

Eren was horrified at the way he was thinking. There was no way that would be such a feasible solution. Just let the man drown himself in self-pity over whatever happened to his wife. Let him live on and suffer, he wasn’t anything special to Eren. But Eren’s mind was absent entirely. 

There was something novel in the way the man acted day to day, yet wholly and astonishingly familiar. The way he cleaned meticulously, the way he made jokes only he would laugh at, the way he scolded Eren for missing something around the house, the way his food tasted, the way he spoke, and the way he dressed. Everything was strikingly similar to what Eren had grown up to know. It was homely. It was safe. 

The only thing that messed with that tranquil life, a life that could have been possible in time, was Levi's past coming back and tormenting him. Levi was broken and he took that out on others. The one that was around the most now was Eren, so Eren was determined to fix it. His past with his wife, seemed complicated when Eren tried to link that gap Levi was hiding. But, when Levi yelled at him and got angry to the point it was destructive fury, Levi had gotten aroused? That was a key factor in his past relationship - Eren pieced together. He had to let out all his feelings in an act, that Eren just so happened to be trained into the role of.

Eren was used to playing the role of a whore, but now he had a chance to try and fix something. Or at least he believed so. The aspect of his plan still seemed risky and foolish.

Levi finally pulled his pants down, but not off, freeing his cock from its confines. Levi pumped his hand up and down his shaft a few times, closing his eyes and getting lost for a moment. He made sure to spread his pre-cum as extra lubricant then reopened his eyes and lined up. 

This time it was Eren’s turn to shut his eyes and block what was next to come. Usually, during sex, Eren had that spot on the ceiling in his room to think about and distract him. Even if it didn't fully work all the time, it was a small saving grace. Now all he had was the darkness around and Levi. He had to close his eyes.

Levi stopped and Eren felt him swiping a hand through the cum that was still sticky between Eren’s thighs from before and, what Eren assumed, used it as something more to make the intrusion less painful but also smooth. Eren couldn't help the small sigh of relief that filled his brain and the silent thank you he had towards the man. 

Well, that was before Levi stopped again. 

Eren kept his eyes closed, relaxed like he was asleep. Levi didn't seem bothered by it and didn't scold him and force him to watch. After a second of pause, Eren afraid his spit that was wetting his own insides was going to dry up before Levi even got the chance to enter, Levi leaned over Eren, his chest brushing Eren’s nose.

Eren was concerned and disoriented, but he stayed as was. He heard a drawer being opened and something scrape against the bottom. He wondered what it was Levi was retrieving, his heart racing fast with ever second and ever sound. Did Levi really have lubricant, but he lied and wanted to enter Eren dry, then second-guessing his act in the end? No, that didn’t seem like the man. 

A trail of sweat swiped down Eren’s forehead, tickling his temple and falling into his hair with the tears. It wasn't till he felt the familiar solid cold, tighten around his wrist that the true panic hit and his eyes snapped open. 

He gazed up at Levi alarmed, when he heard the clicks of the cuffs being locked into place, his eyes wide and his mouth open to protest, but no words coming. He was regressing back to being mute and terrified like at the brothel. 

Eren jolted his free hand, not yet confined, trying to get away. But, Levi quickly grabbed it before he could retreat. 

Eren yowled when he heard the links of the cuffs bend around the bed frame and the second ring was locked onto his final wrist. The cuts from before burned and stung with the coldness of the metal seeping into them, pressing against them and making more wounds to add on to his collection. He tugged at them, only to cry out as more pain shot to his brain and made his vision blur. By the end of the night his wrist would be so bloody and raw he wasn't sure they would ever be able to heal. 

His cries turned to wails as he weakly resisted, instead of pulling his hands and causing more injuries. He was thrashing around, trying to kick the man above him off, but hesitating in following through. 

‘’I-i-’’ Eren’s voice was broken and scratchy. Unfamiliar and full of terror. He couldn't form the words that wanted to come out, his mind just telling him to not talk at all. He was afraid to let go of his voice again. ‘’I won't fight back! I promise!’’ 

Eren began to chant along those lines, forgetting where he was and thinking he was back a the bordello, being trained to be good and take it without biting or punching back. Without fighting.

Levi sighed and held a hand around both of Eren’s wrist, already being fastened close by the handcuffs. 

‘’I’m not doing this because of that,’’ he grumbled, trying to get Eren’s attention back on him. ‘’I do this because I want to. I don't have sex unless the other is restrained. Understand I’m in control, got it?’’

Eren stopped midsentence, having hardly heard Levi through his cries of protest, but heard enough. 

There it was. The truth. Eren had been right about Levi; this was his deep, dark, private, and atrocious secret. His true side. 

He needed to be in control. 

Eren relaxed considerable under Levi, Levi being surprised that it was so simply achieved. He closed his eyes once more, this time more troubled and wrinkled around the edges, but nonetheless, he made himself submissive. Truly submissive. Something he didn’t even fully give in to at the cathouse.

‘’Good,’’ Levi murmured. 

He lined up once more and Eren felt the other tears that were collected in his eyes, fall. He was surprised he had anymore, he could have cried a river if he tried. 

When Levi finally breached Eren - the drag of his cock from the lack of proper lubrication causing a slight, long ago, familiar sting - Levi brought one of his hands off of Eren’s wrist and over his eyes, helping Eren keep them shut. 

Eren didn't understand the small gesture. In a way, it felt tender. His hand was warm and wet of sweat, but it was soft and careful, almost like he thought Eren was made of glass, despite the other things he was doing to him. He covered his eyes, almost like he didn’t want Eren to see either, and the way his hand was somewhat shaking and hesitant over his face, it was almost like that was the first time he had ever done something like it.

Eren’s tears were held back in Levi’s hands, soaking his palms even more with the added moisture. The night felt long and painful to Eren. He didn't cum a second time, but the hand over his eyes grounded him elsewhere. He was able to bring himself away from the hell on earth that he was going through and relax even the slightest.

It was a Levi that - with everything he had quickly learned about the man over the few days they knew each other - he had never come across. 

It made things even more terrifying than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first actual attempt at a sex scene, so sorry if it wasn't done well or strange in some parts or manners. ><


	7. Urgent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! I said I would try and post every day on this piece and yet after I say that, I miss a couple of days.  
> Well, regardless, here's an update. o_O

Das Jahr: 842 November 10

 

Levi reclined his head on the only pillow that hadn’t fallen to the ground prior to their ‘coupling’. The soft breath of Eren’s had finally dulled to a methodical sound in Levi’s ears, and he was sure the boy was deep asleep beside him. Levi sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, the sweat not stopping despite the lack of him even doing anything and the cold room around them. 

It had been only a few hours that Eren had passed out and Levi finally came back to himself and had the decency to pull out. He had cum once, but after that, it was just simple thrusting without any further intent for another release. Nothing like that had ever happened to him before. It made him nauseous thinking about it. 

He had truly wanted to try and be better. Against every little thought, every little urge he had in the last few days, he held back. He didn’t want to repeat the past and in a way, he hoped to take the child in and care for him as just that. A child. That seemed a far away wish at the moment. All because Eren caught him off guard. 

No. 

He should have thrown the boy away from him. Yelled at him and scolded him, yet, he didn’t. Instead, he let him continue. It was entirely his fault, not Eren’s.

All because of her too.

Levi recalled the emerald eyes that use to look up at him with passion, despite his odd fascination with keeping her bound from any movement. At first, it had always been that way; she loved him and he loved her. Then it changed. Levi wasn’t sure when but while he looked even farther into his past he was certain it was. The reason his life fell into the bottomless hole he was in. It didn't take long for her to look at him with fear, which soon turned to anger. Her eyes just as on fire as his. 

He did many cruel things to her, but so did she. Returning the favor a hundred times its intensity. She was a witch that just so happened to have enough charm to cast a spell, even over him. 

Levi huffed and his air came out in a faint cloud. It had gotten a lot colder now that the heated exchange was over. 

Levi sat up and glanced down at Eren. His form was still chained to the headboard, his body exposed to the harsh air. In a vain attempt to stop the iciness from causing the boy to shiver more, he took his blanket and placed it over him. After he was sure Eren was fully covered for the time being, he reached into the drawer by his bed and took the small key into his hand, being reminded once more of the far-off past. Pushing his thought away, he unfastened the cuffs and carefully set Eren’s hands to his side, his eyes scanning the cuts on his wrists. 

It had gotten infected, that much was for sure, but it looked like it had been that way for a while. With the added cuts he was sure Eren was suffering, yet he hardly showed it. 

A long familiar sorrow erupted in his chest and he carefully got out of the bed and retrieved his shirt, cleaning off Eren as best he could without waking him. Eren appeared rather much out of it for the remainder of the night and half of the day to come, so it was easy not to rouse him.

After he realized that the cum had dried up too much to simply wipe off with a dry cloth, he headed for the bathroom where he had kept the tub full, much to his luck. Dunking a bucket into the water he came back to Eren’s side and began to properly clean him up. 

Eren’s skin formed goosebumps at the sudden added chill of water and air around them, Levi making sure to hurry so he could return Eren to the warmth of the comforters. It was a small act of kindness, he thought, one that he wouldn’t show if the boy was up. Not yet at least. 

He didn’t believe he warranted to suddenly act kindly with Eren since it might have come off as a wrong signal. Encouraging Eren to continue with his games and seduce Levi whenever he felt the need to. Levi was still pissed about his rationalizing, but he couldn't fully blame the kid. 

He was just a kid after all.

Levi set the cloth back into the bucket, not focusing on it too long since the water had turned a clouded pink from the mix of cum and blood. He had never felt the sickening twist in his stomach so much before. 

Levi wandered back to the bathroom, retrieving another tissue that he wet, and gauzes. He supposed he'd clean the wounds on his wrists enough to make it a touch less painful the next morning, and by the time Eren was fully awake, he would try and thoroughly treat it to prevent any farther infection. He was no doctor, but he hoped that it wasn’t too bad that he would need to take him to one.

Once the cloth touched the harsh red of his skin, Eren hissed out in pain, his eyes scrunching up but not yet waking. 

Levi was sure by the end of it the kid would be up anyway, so there was no point in carefully cleaning any longer.

After awhile Eren let out a startling outcry of pain and bolted upright, Levi having had to scrub a bit harsher in one spot. 

Levi gripped his upper arm and brought Eren back to a laying position, not meeting his eyes. 

‘’Hold still,’’ Levi directed through clenched teeth. 

Eren heeded his command, wide awake so suddenly, but confused over what was happening. 

‘’Wh-wha-’’

Levi wiped the cloth over his wounds again pulling forth another whimper of pain.

‘’How long?’’ Levi mumbled.

Eren stared up at the ceiling with a disoriented look on his face, Levi sighing and moving to Eren’s other wrist. ‘’How long has it been infected?’’ he reiterated. 

Eren let out another strained gasp through his clenched teeth when the cloth met his other wrist. 

‘’A day or so.’’ He mewled. 

Levi didn’t say anything more and finished up, throwing Eren the gauzes. ‘’Bandage them up then take a bath. I still have water in the tub from earlier.’’

Levi turned away once he saw the bewildered look over the boy’s face, meeting the curtains that hid the window behind them. The sun hadn’t even risen yet and he hadn’t gotten much sleep except for the touch before Eren woke up. But, he was in no mood to sleep any longer. He supposed it was the start of an early day. He was usually restless like that after having sex. 

Very bad sex, that was.

Levi grabbed a shirt off the floor - annoyed with the fact he hadn’t done any laundry since Eren started living there - and wiped his face off before pulling it over his head and turning to leave the room, spotting Eren out of the corner of his eye.

‘’I-i don’t have too. It’ll be a waste of water. I could just wipe myself clean.’’ Eren protested, his voice rasping and small. Levi hated the fact that that was very much his fault. 

Levi clicked his tongue and turned back to Eren, meeting his eyes and ignoring the familiar ocean green color. ‘’You just had sex and still have cum up your ass. Toweling clean won’t do shit,’’ he growled, Eren’s shoulders sagging down at the sudden anger and his eyes filling with a tinge of fear. ‘’When was the last time you even properly bathed?’’

Eren looked away, his eyes falling to the pillows on the ground and his face turning a ghastly shade of pink. ‘’They don't exactly have baths at the brothel for a kid like me. If I went outside my room the other workers would ask questions.’’ 

There was a bit of ardent anger in his words, but he was cleverly hiding it. It still didn't go unnoticed by Levi though, but he was a little well rested in mind that the boy still had that grain of enthusiasm in him. In time that could be nurtured into something akin to the strength that the boy needed.

Levi gave him a displeased look, Eren still letting his eyes roam elsewhere. 

‘’Well that’s not tolerable here. There aren’t any whores who’ll ask you things you wish to hide. Just get cleaned up.’’

Eren finally gawked up at him, a look of something alike to defiance. He wanted to say more but he was holding back. 

Levi crossed his arms, Eren backing down immediately, but that wasn't what Levi wished him to do. 

‘’What was it you wanted to say?’’

‘’Nothing,’’ Eren murmured, the look changing to uncertainty. 

‘’You always get this glint in your eyes,’’ Levi proclaimed, pointing up to his own. ‘’Like you have shit to say, but it won't come out.’’

Eren’s expression wavered, looking down at his hands self-consciously. 

‘’Really….?’’

‘’Yeah,’’ Levi huffed and uncrossed his arms, moving to the bedside and picking up the pillows, throwing them at Eren none too delicately, who looked bewildered and upset. ‘’What was it you were going to say?’’

Levi said those words with finality, not taking another avoidant answer from Eren.

‘’Just…’’ Eren began to fumble his hands, a look of pain spanning over his features most likely due to the movement of his wrists. ‘’You said I was trying to hide something from the others there…’’ Eren looked ready to curl up and hide as he finished. ‘’But, I wasn't the one who chose to be there, you know?’’

‘’Yeah, you already told me that.’’

Eren gave his own sigh and pushed the pillows of him, Levi holding in the wince when the marks he had added to Eren’s skin came into sight. 

‘’’Nevermind…’’

Levi tilted his head. ‘’Nevermind?’’ he echoed. Eren nodded giving Levi a pleading look.

He appeared to have nothing else to say and Levi gave up on messing with him. ‘’Fine,’’ Levi eventually left the room, turning around one last time ‘’Just wash up. Now.’'

Eren gave that glimpse again, opening his mouth then closing it. 

‘’Just go,’’ Levi ordered.

<<<>>>

The heat from the stove soon warmed up the apartment, Levi’s breath no longer coming out as condensation. He wasn't the greatest cook - he knew completely well - but there was no point in wasting what little he had on getting premade food in town. With the war going on the groceries were already high, leaving his wallet even lighter day by day.

A shiver abruptly ran down his spine and he held back the chattering of his teeth. 

He had noticed he got that feeling sometimes even when it was warm. Like someone was standing behind him or watching him and it had gotten worse once Eren showed. A while back Hange had insinuated it was a ghost or something along those shit theories, but Levi was having none of it. 

Overlooking it he continued on and when he stirred in the last of the ingredients for the same soup he had made the day before, Eren finally came out. 

Arranging two dishes on the table, Levi caught a glimpse of Eren standing at the bedroom doorway, fidgeting in nothing. It must have been cold there but Eren showed no signs of acknowledging it. 

Sighing Levi moved on. He would have to get the kid clothes sometime since he knew that even if Eren showed no hesitation to bare his body out in the open, Levi wasn’t going to allow it.

‘’Almost done,’’ he spoke, his voice cutting through the air of quiet he had before Eren came out. ‘’You can borrow my clothes, for now, there should still be some clean ones in the closet.’’

He shooed Eren back into the room, Eren finally shifting and looking uncertain. 

‘’Your clothes?’’ He questioned. ‘’But… I could just find the ones I was wearing yesterday an-’’

‘’Yes, my clothes.’’ he interrupted, setting the finished pot of soup on the table without cautious. He tsked at the mess that spilled out but went on. ‘’Your clothes were pretty much falling off your body so just deal with mine for the time being.’’

Eren gave in and turned back into the room, taking with him the strained atmosphere between the two and welcoming the menacing invisible presence once more. Groaning at the long-drawn and arduous future ahead of him, he took his seat and rested his chin on his palms, waiting to start breakfast. 

There was a sudden tugging feeling in his chest as he watched the smoke billow up to the ceiling from the pan. 

Waiting for a meal…

He was painfully reminded of his past once more. It was strange to wait to eat like before but... it was nice.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 850 Juni 22

Levi helped Eren into the house, rolling the wheelchair carefully through the door and out of the harsh sunlight. 

Eren relaxed once the heat was off his head and studied the room. 

Typical of Levi to keep it the same as when he left to camp, not a single speck of dust in sight. 

Though he knew upon closer inspection he would find some. Like on the top shelves or behind his books. It became Eren’s job back in the days when he mentioned those spots, but as he was now…

‘’You all right?’’ Levi asked, stopping in the middle of the living room and following his eyes around the apartment. 

‘’Just missed it here.’’

Levi’s features change to one of remorse. ‘’Not a lot happened here though. Nothing good at least.’’

Eren was caught off guard at the unforeseen shift in the mood. It was unusual for either of them to think back to when their relationship was… a bit more strained and unexplored as to where it was headed. But now things were better and Levi and Eren always left the past in the past. Though he wasn't entirely guilt free on keeping to that rule. After all, ever since he saw Mikasa in his dream…

‘’You’re missing all the times that I kicked your ass at cooking.’’ Eren teased, desperate to change the oppressive air around them. ‘’Or when you invited Hange and Erwin over for drinks and I met the drunk version of Levi for the first time, who by the way, let me remind you, has a bad singing voice.’’

Levi hit him on the back of the head, giving him an amused smile. 

‘’If you keep bad mouthing, I can think of a few memories that you might not like to be brought up,’’ he warned. 

Eren held his hand up in resignation. ‘’All right, all right. I give.’’

‘’Good…’’ After that, Levi’s smile died once more. ‘’What do you want to do first?’’

He motioned around the house half-heartedly, doing a poor job at hiding his anxiety. 

Eren looked down at his hands; one his own and the other a prototype of the prosthetic he was going to receive soon. 

It was hard to get used to them and he was in no shape to walk or move too much yet, but soon, the doctor promised it would get better. 

When though?

‘’Maybe just what we usually do. Laze around and read?’’

‘’Whatever you want.’’ Levi patted his head, letting the curls fall through his fingers. ‘’Though, we should look into getting you a hair cut. You’re starting to look like Hange with it all tangled and long.’’

Eren brought his hand up to his head, touching his hair. ‘’But I kinda like it,’’ he admitted. ‘’Back at the camp, I was told I look quite charming with it long. You know I also let my facial hair grow out for a bit there too. It wasn't bad, either.’’

Levi’s face scrunched up in disgust at the thought, though Eren could tell he was just teasing. 

‘’Keep to how you had things before, you know I hate change.’’ he quipped. 

Eren strained a laugh, though he had to admit, it would be weird to let his stubble of a beard and mustache grow out now that he was back at home. It seemed only fit when the people he knew weren’t there to see it. He would be teased non-stop anyways - even though Jean changed his look while he was gone too.

Levi pushed the wheelchair to the center of the living room and helped Eren out and onto the couch. Eren tried his best to hold in the hiss of pain when his joints were strained from moving, Levi immediately apologizing. After a couple of ups and down, Eren carefully moving into a comfortable sitting position, Levi left to fetch some items from the racks. 

Eren smirked at the familiar atmosphere. ‘’It seems so long ago that I was first allowed to read from these books,’’ Eren noted. 

Levi’s hand froze where it hovered over one of the novels, Eren second guessing why he even brought up something else from the past. ‘’Sorry…’’ he hastily added.

‘’It’s fine,’’ Levi muttered. He brought a small stack of books he was sure Eren would like and set them beside him. ‘’Sometimes we just think back on things. Especially when there’s really nothing else to do.’’

Eren nodded his head in agreement and reached for one of the titles. Still the same tastes as years back. Old autobiographies of late authors and scholars. Levi took a seat beside him, his own book soon resting on his lap where it remained shut. 

‘’Which reminds me…’’ Levi vaguely pointed over to his room. ‘’You said you wanted to situate everything after resting, but a bit ago I switched all your things from your room into mine so you can stay there. It’ll be easier for you to get to the bathroom.’’

‘’What about you? You didn’t have to, I would have been fine.’’ Eren protested. 

Levi sighed and sat back. ‘’I’ll stay in your old room. It’s not forever if you don't like it. Just till you get used to moving around again, okay?’’

Eren brought his hand to where his prosthetic leg met flesh. It still dully hurt but it wasn't as bad as the first few days after waking in the sanatorium. 

‘’I’ll be sure to get better soon,’’ Eren vowed, eliciting another sigh from the man beside him. 

‘’Don’t say shit like that. Take as much time as you need and don’t rush things. You’ll only get worse that way.’’

Eren couldn’t help staring down, dropping his head and pressing his shoulders closer together. Levi caught his mood instantly and pat his head as he always did to hearten him. 

‘’Don't’ stress about anything. It’s fine to accept help every now and then.’’

‘But the only reason that I joined to help with the war was to make your life easier and get more money for us.’ Eren ached to say, but he kept quiet and faked a smile. 

‘’I’ll try,’’

<<<>>>

Eren sighed when he was finally able to rest in a real mattress, his body melting into the eiderdown. 

Earlier they had just finished a late dinner and Eren was too exhausted to do much else, Levi insisting they turn in for the day. Eren was a tad bit proud of himself at the moment since he was able to pull himself carefully into the bed with little to no help from Levi. Though he had been in a lot of pain from that small task, he held it down and pushed on. 

Eren gazed up at the ceiling, not a cobweb in sight just as it had always been. 

He hadn’t been in Levi’s room in a long time except for passing through to get to the bathroom. At first, it was out of the strange mood that surrounded them after they first sorted everything out when he was younger and lived a more family-like style rather than what they had prior. Then it was simply out of the fact that he got older and hanging out in Levi’s room wasn't something he did any longer. 

He was reminded of Mikasa once again. 

It wasn’t till she disappeared that he stopped hanging out next to the window sill of Levi’s room, staring out into the alley outside the apartment and trying to catch glimpses of the stars.

Eren’s head moved to the window in thought and he could almost picture perfectly her form sitting there, pointing out to one of the constellations with her small hand. 

Eren sighed at the memory and looked away, shutting his eyes and thinking back a bit more. 

His thoughts were interrupted when Levi tapped his forehead and pointed out to the door. 

‘’I’m done getting ready, I’ll be heading to bed.’’

‘’You mean staying up till the sun rises reading?’’

Levi rolled his eyes and flicked his forehead instead. 

‘’Need anything just call for me, all right?’’ Levi’s tone turned serious all of a sudden.

Eren nodded and rested under the covers more. ‘’See you tomorrow.’’

‘’Yeah,’’

<<<>>>

Eren was hot. 

His body was sticking to the sheets and he could feel the sweat dripping off his chin and forehead. Aside from that, he was also breathing heavy, his inhalation strained, and his throat pained. 

He tried to calm himself, hoping it was just small grippe and it would go down if he just got back to sleep and woke up in the morning. 

Eren squeezed his eyes shut once, then opened them again, repeating the gesture and wondering if he should just call for Levi. He was in distress and was sure in the end it wasn’t going to be just a simple cold. 

As he opened his mouth to call for help he felt a cool hand rest on his own. 

His head snapped to the side and there, by the bed, was her. 

‘’M-Mikasa,’’

She wiped a hand over his forehead collecting the sweat tenderly. 

Eren wasn’t in as much shock as he believed he would be in when he finally met her after all the years apart. It felt like ages that she told him she was going to be leaving for a while, maybe forever, but now she was there with him again. He knew it wasn't all an illusion. 

Her cold hand felt identical to those years back, but her other features were different. She had the same smile and eyes, but she was more adult. Maybe around his age. He wasn’t aware she could age.

‘’You’re all right,’’ she murmured, her voice fluid and soft. 

Eren relaxed a bit at her words, his breath finally evening out.

‘’W-what are you doing here. I thought you were gone?’’

He wasn’t aware of the tears tracing down his cheeks till she brought her hand to his face once more and brushed them away. 

‘’I’m here,’’ she assured, instead of answering his question. But, that was fine, he thought. 

She was right, she was there. Really there. 

Eren brought his hand up to hers, holding it as he would when they were kids. A small smile spread over her lips. 

‘’I missed you,’’ he muttered, his eyes closing against his will and without his knowledge. 

Her form began to blur as the tears blocked what little vision his half-shut eyes still had. 

‘’I missed you too.’’

Mikasa's hand squeezed his, real and almost human, even if she wasn’t truly. 

‘’You have to rest, okay?’’ she spoke, her voice in and out of his lagging consciousness. 

He could vaguely feel his head moving up and down, indicating that he was replying to her. 

‘’I’ll still be here when you wake. I promise.’’

Then everything was pitch black. It was a nice kind of empty though.


	8. Strident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while again!! About a week this time. I've been distracted lately so I haven't been writing in that time, resulting in me not feeling so great about how these chapters I have started writing, are turning out. Anyway, I'll still continue with it and try not to fall behind again.
> 
> Side note - Chapter 119 = Evil! I can't believe Isayama would do that!! (Actually, I can)

Das Jahr: 842 November 10

 

There was always something off about sunny days. 

Eren had realized that the world still continued no matter how sad nor hurt the people there were. The clouds would cover the light and it would rain when you were feeling elated. The sun would shine brightly and without a care when you were feeling discouraged and down. Eren had come to realize that very soon. 

Like on the day Yarckel was bombed. It was sunny and warm. A gentle heedless day. It wasn’t till the dust covered the land and cleared that Eren looked up to the sky and realized. He really hated sunny days. 

And like that day there were many more to come. When he came out of the room and observed Levi, a content look on his face like he was remembering something nice - and the sun - it shone through the little window by the door and illuminated that scene. Eren felt sick.

It had been what he wanted. Levi wasn’t anxious or hostile. In fact, he acted open-minded after that evening. He didn’t apologize to Eren - he didn’t expect him to - and he didn’t treat him adversely. After cleaning him, offering him a bath, clothing him, then feeding him a meal, he looked at Eren with the same indifferent regardings. But behind the cold silver of his eyes, shining with the sunlight, he was reflecting unyieldingly back to something. Something Eren wasn’t a part of. The same as when he deliberately sat out of the sunlight, in the only shadow of the house and looked on at the scene before him.

Levi was happy and the sun shone for him. Yet for Eren, it was too bright and his headache too strong to enjoy it. The sun was damning him once more. 

<<<>>>

Levi went out after breakfast and instructed Eren to stay put and not mess with anything. Eren caught the fleet glance towards the cupboard, a small warning that he was serious. Eren, of course, followed what he was asked like a docile dog and waited in his room for the man's return.

Levi rarely left the house since he got there, so it was strange when the offbeat type of silence touched his ears. It was scary and almost deafening despite the lack of noise. Eren curled up under his covers, blocking out the path of light that shone through his cracked open door and he waited. 

It wasn’t till his breathing was harsh under the sheets and through that dull, he heard the creaking of the floorboards. 

His heartbeat was louder than the silent fuzz in the air and he waited out the racket outside. Had Levi come back already?

Discreetly and slowly peeling back the sheets Eren peered out into the area and observed the cracked open door. It had been opened by the air before, but never so blatantly obvious. It was pushed open by more than its faulty hinges. 

Eren began to panic but he kept it down as he rose up, dropping the cover to the ground and proceeding to the door. 

Had someone broken in? Levi would have made himself known before opening his door. And the fact that the man wasn't waiting there and it seemed whoever opened it was lurking about, told him it was most definitely not Levi. It was an unwanted visitor. 

Eren slipped out into the living area and investigated his surroundings, his heart aching from the beating it was putting him through. 

Would this intruder harm him? Why was he there? Eren wondered these things - of course - but above all, he wondered; If Levi came back and found him dead under the sunlight pouring through his ajar door - the intruder scared off by him, and Levi’s home safe - what would the man do?

Surely he would throw him out into the alley and leave him to rot. Move on and forget about him. It was harsh but it was fine by Eren. He didn’t care all that much. 

There was another creak and Eren’s head whipped to the commotion. Still nothing. The trespasser had pulled open the pan cabinet. Eren took in a deep breath and moved to the kitchenette. There were hardly any places for hiding, so where was this person at?

Eren placed his hand on the open cupboard and turned around, closing it gradually behind him. Was the intruder playing with him? He had to have had a reason to be there, but what?

Eren’s room door abruptly shut with a jarring whack, the broken and unavailing hinges rattling and almost being forced into place. Eren flinched back at the noise and hesitated to go farther. It nearly seemed that there was really no one there… that there was simply a presence but not a real individual. 

Eren gulped and took in another breath, his lungs quickly becoming hard to control and keep operating. He should leave. Wait somewhere hidden for Levi’s return. Or leave altogether and never come back. But, he felt an unexpected interest in advancing. He was already okay with being killed. He had not a care in the world for his own well being. So there was no need to fret about wanting to be drawn to the intruder. It was almost like the unknown was calling him towards it. 

Eren set his hand onto the wood frame, pushing it open with its routine soft squeak. Inside his room, there was no one. And there was no place to hide either. 

Eren felt fear wash over him anew, from the tips of his toes all the way to his head. It was all too tortuously mind-numbing that he couldn’t deal with moving about the house looking for the assailant any longer. 

Eren sighed and leaned against the door frame, rubbing his eyes with his sore wrists and steadying his breathing. He was just over imaging things. The apartment was old…

When he let his hands fall back to his side and opened his eyes he came face to face with a young girl. 

Eren surged back falling to the ground behind him, his feet twisting painfully under him. He hadn’t even heard her get so close to him. He was sure that she was close enough for him to feel her breath. If she had any, at that matter.

Eren watched as her frame almost flickered with the light from the window. Her body and appearance otherwise ordinary, but the almost static look to her gave away the truth. 

Eren began to scoot away from the young girl, who regarded him with dark eyes. Yet those eyes seemed to be simply querying. Not considering any malice.

There was a lapse of silence in the room. Enough to make his heartbeat heard from across the house. 

The girl tipped her head at him, looking him up and down and perhaps wondering why he was on the floor with such a terrified grimace. Eren almost thought she looked ignorant of what she was provoking. 

She waited, much like him. She even looked frightened when she moved and Eren jolted back. 

She opened her mouth, then evaluating, shut it. 

She was at a loss for words. 

Eren used his hands to hold himself into a sitting position, ready to run the moment she made an advance to him. She had an almost pleasant demeanor around her, so his unease was slowly ebbing away, despite his strength to keep it there. 

‘’Y-you…’’ Eren’s stuttering voice was giving up on him, his throat to tight to work any longer. 

He felt mute all over again as he waited out for her to do something. Anything, since he was incompetent as how to respond. 

The girl was waiting for him to finish, her dark eyes shining in the sun much like Levi’s. 

‘’Are you hurt?’’ she wondered, her voice soft and kind. Nothing like the attacker Eren had envisioned. And he could tell she wasn’t being cruel or feigning sympathy for him. He took in another breath, sweat on his brow. He nodded his head when his words were still lost to him. The girl bowed her head too, pleased to hear he was okay. 

She studied the space, familiar eyes sliding over the furniture and bookshelves. Then she moved, Eren propelling himself away but she just glid past him and into the kitchen. 

When she stretched a hand out for the water vase he almost expected it to slip through her fingers. But carefully it was raised off the counter and she poured a cup for him. 

Standing back to his side, she set the cup a little ways away from him and hurried back to give him space to reach it. Almost like she could discern his unease about her now. 

‘’Go on,’’ she pressed, her voice a delicate whisper. ‘’Take it.’’

Eren debated, but conclusively gave in and held the glass up, taking a small sip afraid of what was to come. After the water washed down his throat, he was suddenly able to relax it a bit and speak, his voice hardly a peep. 

‘’W-who are you? What are you doing here?’’

The girl did the same thing as before, tilted her head and stared at him strangely. 

‘’I live here,’’ she told him. ‘’Haven’t you been seeing me?’’

Eren shook his head, quite in control of his actions despite his clear ignorance and fear of the situation that was inducing panic inside. 

She looked disheartened at his confession, but looked away hastily, almost like it was an answer she was anticipating anyway. The girl waited a few seconds, her eyes calculating. It wasn’t apparent what she was going to do, but when she knelt down to his level and stared him in the eyes, he was almost soothed by the act. Like he was being put under a spell. 

The girl reached out and grasped his shaking hand, the feeling of her cold skin familiar. Eren found himself encircling his fingers around her offered hand and holding it. She gave him another smile the sun finally doing justice as it kept the room lit and her form in sight.

''I'm Mikasa then.''

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 850 Juni 25

Just as she promised, when Eren woke up she was there. Sitting by his bed like she never left. 

It had been a couple of days since then and although Eren had a lot of catching up to do, she simply told him that her time away was vacant. She had no recollections of what happened in the period that she vanished before him and then reappeared in the apartment years later. She said it felt like she was aimlessly wandering some black hole waiting for something to arrive. And that it went on for centuries, lifetimes. But Eren reassured her they had only been apart for a few years. 

Now Mikasa and he had gone through all of Eren’s stories, Eren still finding more, but knowing that they had spent days talking about him. He was ready just to talk to her.

She traced her hand up the prosthetic arm like she had been doing whenever he spoke to her recently. She found them fascinating, yet sad. Eren assured her that he wasn’t in a whole lot of pain and that the hardest parts were over. Though he still had to get them replaced by the actual versions of them and he knew that was going to hurt, but he kept those anxieties to himself. 

Her cold hand lingered over the arm, him not feeling her contact, yet knowing her touch well enough to imagine it. She crept her hand up till she reached his skin, Eren shivering at the actual contact. She smiled at the goosebumps and finally took her hand back, sitting in her chair again. 

Eren had noticed that she had been looking more alive lately, like something good had happened. And even her skin was getting more warm to the touch, instead of ice cold like it usually was. Eren held out his hand after a moment requesting her to take it. He earned a bothered look form her, but nonetheless, it turned to an endearing smile and she obliged. 

‘’I’ve missed you,’’ he repeated. 

She sighed and brushed circles onto the top of his hand. ‘’You’ve been saying that since I came back.’’ she admonished. 

Eren laughed shyly and went on. ‘’But I really do. I wanted you to stay longer. And stay here. And now that you are here...’’

‘’I don’t know how long I'll be here though,’’ Mikasa added. 

Eren tried to reassure her that it’d last and not to worry about it but she went on. 

‘’Back then, it happened without a warning.’’ She argued. ‘’What if you wake up tomorrow and I’m not there. What if I have to go back to that place?’’

Eren could hear the slight hysteria and also sorrow in her words. He was scared of that inevitability but he denied to believe it would happen again. He was going to do everything in his power to try and make things different.

‘’It won't.’’ he tried. He was about to go on, but he heard the familiar sound of the front door's lock.

Mikasa moved to the window and gazed out, relaxing the tension in her shoulders. ‘’It’s just Mr. Levi.’’

Eren nodded and plucked his book from the desk. ‘’Yeah, he said he’d come back around noon.’’

Mikasa glanced back at him and perched on the window sill.

‘’Where did he go?’’

‘’Didn’t tell me.’’

Mikasa nodded, and Eren could see out of the corner of his eye that she had a perceptive look over her face. 

He knew he should have quit talking, lest he is caught speaking to nothing by Levi, but he went on quietly. 

‘’It’s fine, Mikasa. Levi’s good now.’’

She nodded her head. She always had a hard time getting over what happened in the past, and now Eren knew even years later she was still haunted by it all. 

There was a light tap on the bedroom door before it was opened, Levi holding a bag and reading a letter in his other hand. 

‘’I visited the hospital and your friend Historia told me to bring this to you.’’ he held the bag up, the smell of food wafting through to his nose. 

Levi finished the letter and folded it, looking up into the room at Eren, then with wide eyes-

Levi quickly backtracked, taking a step out of the room with a startled look. ‘’Oh, I didn’t know you had company.’’ he quickly shut the door to only a crack and went on. ‘’Sorry I should have waited to come in.’’

Eren was frozen there, no words coming to his mouth. And he was sure from the lack of a reaction from Mikasa she was the same. 

‘’Uh… it’s all right, just…’’

Levi still stood by the door, shifting and waiting. ‘’Should I come back later?’’

Eren finally looked over to Mikasa, who - unlike him with wide eyes and a beating heart - was just looking at the door with a bewildered look. Then looking down to her hands and back up.

‘’Levi…’’

Eren hesitantly called, Levi pausing then opening the door again. Eren remarked that the man looked penitent making Eren wonder whom he though Mikasa was to him. 

He opened the door fully and looked back to Mikasa, giving her a welcoming smile, a rare action from the man. This elicited a reaction of Mikasa’s own, who let her hands fall to her lap and her eyes widen even more. 

‘’Is she a friend from the academy?’’

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 842 November 15

‘’What do you think?’’

‘’What do I think…?’’

Levi analyzed the paper set in front of him, not knowing what the hell it all was, but Erwin explained enough for him to get a small idea. The map was fairly new, but there were coffee stains and wrinkles here and there, showing that it was well worked on. Though not the final design. 

‘’It’s something, that’s for sure,’’ Levi answered, not really clear on what he was supposed to say.

Erwin was his closest friend and if there was an idea the man had in his head, Levi was all in on it. But he didn’t understand why Erwin insisted that he get Levi’s opinion every time. He’d never really passed an academy on the streets and paid attention to the building, and he hadn’t even been to one when he was a child. His opinion on the matter should have rightfully fallen on deaf ears, but Erwin was adamant that he get Levi’s approval before bringing it to the board.

Sighing Levi pointed to one of the areas, marked 'the dorms'. ‘’Maybe think about making less?’’ he suggested. ‘’There’s hardly any kids that even learn how to read, much less attend school. There’s really no point in wasting all the space.’’

Erwin follows his finger and studied the area, an expression that told Levi the man was contemplating arduously on it. 

‘’That would be what other academies would do, yes. But here I want more kids to be attending this school. So we need to be prepared for those children.’’

‘’Those children?’’ Levi echoed. ‘’You know with the war, whatever amount of children attended school before that, that number would be lessened. Maybe by more than half if it’s this type of town.’’

Erwin looked let down by his way of thinking, but he understood he was right. 

Erwin leaned an arm on the table, staring closely at Levi. ‘’Come on. If I can get this school from my father. Convince him to reduce the price for attendance and school texts then I'm sure I can fill roughly eighty percent of those dorms with kids not only from here but from other cities who will travel here for the more affordable tuition.’’

‘’And how will you pay your teachers? You know now and days it costs a fortune to get bastards to work with these kids? If you lessen the money you make your employees will feel the blunt force of it. Then you lose them.’’

Erwin kept that glint in his eyes, already giving away that he thought that through.

‘’We’ll be looking at people that are losing their jobs anyways thanks to the failing businesses against the factories that are in the next town over. With that, more people will be searching for any job they can get. And, you mentioned the war messing with the school's system, but that also brings in other help too. If the kids get an education before they become of age to join the war, then the results from the soldiers will double.’’ Levi sighed in the middle of his words, resting his chin on his palm and blanking out here and there.

Honestly, there was already no point in knowing all those things. He shouldn’t have said anything. 

After Erwin finished, he anticipated Levi’s answer. A look in his eyes almost saying: I dare you to come up with another scenario.

‘’You’re dreaming while awake, Erwin.’’ Levi deadpanned. 

Erwin looked dejected at his words, but since he knew Levi so well, instead of offering a come back he let out a tired sigh. 

‘’All right. I give. I’ll leave you alone about it.’’

Levi smiled thinly. ‘’'bout time. You’ve been going on about it for hours now.’’

Erwin looked to the clock over the bar, groaning. ‘’I suppose I have. Sorry.’’

‘’You're not as bad as Hange, so don’t get too depressed.’’

That got a smile out of the other man, his blue eyes shining again. 

‘’Then, we’ve talked about me, what about you?’’

Levi shifted and looked down at his plate. Everything still untouched, but Erwin hadn’t noticed. 

‘’Everything's the same.’’ he lied. Erwin narrowed his eyes, prying into Levi to get an honest answer. ‘’Really, everything is fine.’’

‘’You don't come around that often.’’ Erwin pointed out, Levi frowning at him. 

‘’You and Hange are pains in my ass as it is. Visiting you guys and drinking away every week will probably kill me.’’

Giving a tense chuckle, Erwin when on. 

‘’Then have you been seeing anyone?’’

Letting out a choked startled, Levi glowered at the man, even more, sinister than before.’’

‘’Where the hell did that come from? You’ve been hanging out at the academy for too long, and now your brain's gone immature.’’

‘’Schools educate, Levi. Not degrade. I can tell you’ve been with someone because I don't even pass you on the streets. You’re not so much of a recluse that you never go out. You’re a neat freak who does his shopping every Friday and takes a walk every morning when the day is well. Unless you’ve been with someone to keep the time ticking, I doubt you'd break your habits. I’ve got to assume it’s someone you fondly enjoy the company of, too.’’

‘’You’re full of shit.’’ Levi seethed. ‘’And you’re too damn much of a stalker to know all that stuff about me.’’

Erwin shrugged his shoulders. ‘’You’re too predictable. I’ve known you nearly my whole life. There’s no one else I know better.’’

Levi sighed and sat back in his seat, glaring at Erwin one last time then giving in.

The man was right. Levi was an open book when it came to him. Could he tell him about Eren? Erwin may have been able to help, but he risked letting it be known that Levi was on the edge again. His frequenting brothels were well known by his closest friends, and they worried greatly day in and day out. But if they learned he went so far as to violate a child…

He looked up at Erwin, knowing his eyes were almost pleading. When they were younger it was always him that got the other out of trouble.

‘’You all right?’’ Erwin questioned, his eyes on his intently, worriedly. 

The look was familiar. It evoked memories of simpler times.

‘’I’m fine.’’ Levi huffed. ‘’And your shit about me being with someone is wasted. I’m not. I’ve just been stuck in my own head spa-’’

‘’Levi?’’ Erwin interrupted. He paused and took a hesitant breath. ‘’I heard about the kid.’’

Levi came back to that stuttering stupor. A look of both horror and confusion on his face.

‘’How the hell-’’

‘’A lot of people talk,’’ Erwin admitted. ‘’I didn't dig into it. I swear. Just… there was the talk around town about people seeing you with a kid in your apartment. It’s hard to ignore.’’

Levi settled into his seat, almost as if trying to sink into it and disappear. 

The other man paused once again, the silence at their table uncomfortable and almost overpowering. 

‘’It’s not really that compl-’’

‘’They said you came out of the brothel with him.’’ Erwin went on, getting somewhere with his words. Levi cursed under his breath, Erwin not noticing his struggling to stay seated. 

‘’Did you by chance… impregnate one of the girls from the brothel?’’

Levi's face fell and he stared at Erwin without expression. He felt startled by the accusation, yes, but more annoyed with Erwin’s rambling ideas. Though it was likely that that could have been a possibility with how much he went there. But Erwin knew him better than that. If he got a woman pregnant, he wouldn't wait a decade then come back and take the kid to live with him. If he was going to leave the kid for so long, then he was going to leave the kid permanently. It was a risk the harlots took there anyway, so why couldn’t they take care of their own mess ups?

Levi sighed and rubbed the gathered sweat off his face. ‘’Hell, Erwin.’’ He groaned. ‘’No, it’s not my child.’’

Erwin tipped his head, imploring for more details. 

Groaning again he went on. ‘’It’s not my kid, but I'm taking him in.’’

‘’Why?’’

Levi paused. His original plan was something he was sure he would get somewhat disapproval on. But Erwin would have been glad he moved on from the sorrows that have been plaguing him for years and instead; trying to raise a kid with no place to go. Now… his original thoughts on the matter were moot to what was actually occurring. He was shit to think he could ever care for Eren only as a child. What he had done would stick to them for eternity.

‘’He was at a fucking brothel being sold to goons who were sick enough to do it with him.’’ Levi spat, keeping any more about Eren out of it. ‘’It wasn’t anything consensual either. I doubt the kid wants to be there any more than he does with me.’’

‘’So you only did it because you felt bad?’’

‘’Sure. Why the hell not. Go with that.’’

Erwin let the news sink in, then went on. ‘’Why not send him out to an orphanage? If you are so worried I could even get him into a better city where he’ll be treated well.’’

‘’That’s all right,’’ Levi replied, too fast for his comfort. He didn't spend a moment to contemplate and went on, more held back. ‘’He’s scared. With me, I think he’ll be fine for a bit longer. Maybe later.’’

He was lying. Lying more than he had ever in his life. And it sickened him to know he had no idea why he was saying it. Eren was better off with Erwin. Better of in another city being cared for by people better fit. Kinder and more likely to treat him with the care he needed. The care he deserved. 

Erwin’s face brightened, Levi finally had found a lie that went passed the man. 

‘’That’s good then. I think having someone around there with you will make things better. Especially a younger mind.’’

Levi rolled his eyes and went back to simply being annoyed with Erwin’s words. Minding the fact that the conversation was going to be stuck in his head for days and the guilt over Eren will wash over him anew. 

‘’If you need help, Hange and I will always be there to do so,’’ Erwin consoled. He then got a small somber look in his eyes. ‘’And what about the brothel. Do you still go there?’’ he wondered. 

Levi shifted. He hadn’t been there since Eren. Was he even ever going to go to a brothel again? It bothered him to think Eren was the cause of that. Especially with how things were. 

‘’No.’’ Levi finalized both in his head and to Erwin. Telling Erwin what he most likely wanted to hear the most.

‘’That’s good.’’ was all he got in return for all the guilt he was - unknowing to the other man - dumping on him to lighten his mood. 

<<<>>>

Eren had been ecstatic every morning he woke up. 

Yes, he was still reluctant about getting close to Levi, especially since the man sometimes still got angry and revived his calm mind by touching Eren in any ways he pleased. Though, the two hadn’t had any real sex since that one night.

What Eren was really excited for was the young girl who waited for him near the door. Sitting there almost like she herself was dozing off, even though she informed him she couldn't.

When he woke up she would meet his eyes and grin. 

Mikasa showed to know about Eren and Levi’s relationship. And if Eren had to speculate, she didn't like it. Though she didn't really know what it was the two were doing, but Eren wasn’t in any inclination to explain to her about it. She was better off not knowing anything than knowing the truth.

When he woke up the two would talk, hushed and reserved, Levi never once finding them out. Then throughout the day - the times that Eren cleaned and ate - Mikasa was there. When it was a day that Levi was agitated, Mikasa would thoughtfully leave back to the room, Eren almost dejected that she did. 

He never understood if it was because he was scaring her, or if it was watching someone leave him behind with the man.

He learned very little about Mikasa though, because she herself knew very little. It was him that had stories. And she gleamed at every last one. The ones about his family, about his fond memories on the streets. Even some about Levi that she already knew, but Eren still told her. Those were very little though, and very irrelevant to the others. 

It had almost been a week that they had been together and Levi left after a long time of staying in the house. He bitterly told Eren to stay put and not touch anything. The usual. Though this time something occurred that never did before. 

Mikasa and him and been sitting on the divan in the kitchen, Eren listening closely for the lock on the door to warn him about Levi coming back. Though it wasn’t a clicking of a lock that came from the entrance. 

Eren and Mikasa both jumped when a violent knock shook the door. 

Their eyes both went to the door, the rap sounding again. 

Eren stood up and wordlessly headed to the window in the living area, looking out the curtain without being discovered. There, a tall man stood on the porch. He looked scary to Eren, but almost every foreigner did. 

The man knocked again, this time a bit more calm and softer. 

‘’Levi! Open up, it’s fuckin’ freezing out here.’’ 

Eren didn’t move and instead hid back behind the veil. He thought maybe waiting it out till the man left would be best. 

Mikasa still stayed by the kitchen counters, her face pale and eyes wide. 

‘’Come on, Runt. if ya don’ ah’ll let myself in.’’

Eren’s heart picked up even more increased speed. He was afraid he would die from the constant hammering of it against his chest. 

The man banged against the door once more. 

‘’Come on. For yer dear ol’ uncle. Ah might die from old age out here and ya’ll be at fault.’’

Eren paused. Uncle?

He constantly thought Levi had no more family. The man had no pictures out except for the ones in the cabinet. And he never spoke of any - though why would he tell Eren?

Eren carefully stood up, not sure on if he should answer. If it was family, surely Levi would be mad if he didn't do anything and let him leave. And if he didn't leave than the man would beat open the door and Levi would still be mad. Letting the man in seemed the best choice. Sort of.

Eren set his hand on the knob, accidentally rattling it and the man pausing on the other side. It was too late to change his mind. Mikasa behind him was urging him back to the kitchen, advising him not to let anyone in. It was dangerous. 

Twisting the knob, surprised to find it unlocked already, he opened it and looked up at the man. 

At first, the man looked happy that he was finally let in, but when he looked down at the boy who was clearly not his nephew, his face changed to confusion. 

‘’Who the hell are you?’’

Eren didn't say anything, his feet frozen to the boards. He could still shut the door. 

The man held out his hand, Eren springing back but the other was too fast. He gripped onto Eren’s chin, tilting it from side to side. It reminded him a lot of how Levi treated him at times. There was an audible growl from Mikasa behind him and even though he couldn't see her she had moved closer. Though there was very little she could do to help. 

Eren let out a whimper as the man continued to analyze him, his expression shifting every now and then. He let go harshly, nearly throwing Eren to the ground. 

‘’Ya don’ look like the little bastard, so ah doubt yer his brat… so then,’’ the glint in his eyes change to something dangerous and Eren stepped back. ‘’Ya a little thief who's tryna look for quick money? ‘Cause ah don’ think anyone told ya this, but… this is one house ya don’ wanna steal from.’’

He took a step into the apartment, following after Eren’s backtracks. He was getting so close, Eren could hear him shifting to get something from his coat. In a sudden wave of panic, Eren held his hands up protectively and chanted. 

‘’I live here with Levi! He took me from the brothel and is keeping me here!’’

The man hesitated. Whatever he was retrieving from his coat was left there as he withdrew his hand and stared unyielding at Eren. 

‘’Ya serious?’’

Eren nodded his head. 

The man’s shoulders relaxed and he let out a sigh. ‘’That little bastard is in over his goddamn head.’’

Eren peered up at the man falteringly, waiting for what was to come. The stranger, in turn, stared down at him, his face jaded. He pushed past Eren and into the house, Eren finally able to turn and see Mikasa. She was seething at the man but also overwhelmed by him. 

The man plopped down on the couch, kicking his boots up on the coffee table - Something Levi would surely kill him for if he saw that type display. Maybe it was a bad idea to let him in after all. 

The man picked up a book Levi had left on the table, opening it, then clicking his tongue disappointed and throwing it back behind the couch. It hit the floor with an echoing sound, making both Eren and Mikasa jump again. 

Eren stayed where he was, the cold air from the ajar door freezing him to the core. 

After a while of silence and stillness, the man looked back at Eren, his eyes clouded and impatient. 

‘’Shut the goddamn door and git yer guest somethin' ta eat, would ya?’’

Eren hesitated under the man’s scrutinizing glare but quickly gathered himself and rushed to the door, shutting it without a sound. 

He scurried to the kitchen passing Mikasa who trailed after him. 

‘’Why would you do that, Eren?’’ Mikasa spoke after her long reserve. 

Eren couldn't chat with her with the man there, so he only shrugged his shoulders. Honestly not all that sure himself. She looked more fretful than worried. 

‘’I hope Mr. Levi gets back soon,’’ she muttered. Eren was startled that she was looking to Levi for protection when she usually hated the man deeply. He guessed Levi was their only guardian, though. 

‘’Hurry it up!’’ the man called over, picking up another item from the table. Levi’s paper that he got delivered to his door every day, despite the delivery kid's annoyed and tired look at the assignment. 

He appeared entertained by it, so Eren quickly began to rifle through Levi’s things. The man never let him in the kitchen to cook and he had never paid much attention to Levi cooking so he had no idea where anything was. Or how to cook, on that matter. 

Mikasa pointed to a cabinet over the oven, looking at him with impatient and fearful eyes. 

He silently thanked her and pulled out a few things. How the hell was he suppose to cook it now?

He began to fumble till Mikasa looked behind her at the man - still entertained by the newspaper - then picked up a few ingredients.

‘’This is what Levi uses.’’ She told him, guiding him through it. 

Eren tentatively followed, hesitant about lighting the stove, but there was no other thing they knew how to cook besides Levi’s repugnant soup. 

Trying to please the man and not upset him into endangering him with whatever was in his coat, Eren kept out a few ingredients that smelled unappetizing with the others. Mikasa glaring at him when he did. 

‘’You have to cook it as Mr. Levi does. Or you’ll mess it up,’’ she warned. 

‘’If you’ve tried his cooking, you’ll understand why I'm doing this,’’ he hissed back. 

‘’What was that, brat?’’ the man behind him looked up from his paper to the boy at the stove. Perplexed. 

‘’Nothing, sir… just talking to myself.’’

The man regarded him, annoyed, but went back to his reading. 

A silent sigh of relief, then he went back to cooking, picking up a few things he thought would taste better from the smell of them alone since he knew nothing of anything in front of him. 

Mikasa stayed silent after the man caught them, but she threw her own hesitant and worried looks at what he was doing. 

He tossed everything together and soon the kitchen was warmed up by the stove. It felt nice compared to the cold air previously around them. 

Eren was almost finished when the door unfastened and he turned to find Levi standing there, a bag in his hand and his face both livid and furious. 

Eren dropped the ladle into the soup, losing it to the liquid in the pot. But, that was the least of his worries. 

Levi first looked to the man on the couch, his face full of skepticism, anger and even a bit of panic, much to Eren’s shock. Then Levi looked up to Eren, his eyes simply filling with rage. Eren cowered at the look, having never seen it so concentrated at him before. 

Levi spoke to the man first but kept his silver eyes on Eren. 

‘’What the hell are you doing here, Kenny?’’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, another note: I've been thinking about making one-shots sometime since I want to write something other than novel length fics. So if there are any request or ideas for one, don't be shy to comment them. I'm not sure if I'll be able to do any though, since I've never done something like this before. But I'll try my best. 😊
> 
> Also, (again) thank you for reading so far!! ^﹏^


	9. Forthright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys, it's been a while since I've updated this fic, sorry!! 😬 But I've been writing another (Don't be shy to check it out too, though the start is...cringy) Regardless, I was able to finish this a long time ago and finally got around to editing it. Enjoy! 😙

Das Jahr: 842 November 15

 

The bite in Levi’s words were meant for the man named Kenny, but Eren couldn’t help but feel that they were somewhat directed at him. After all, for the next minute after Levi came in, his cold eyes never left Eren's form. 

Kenny looked over, giving Levi a dismissive wave then went back to the paper. Levi seethed and stormed to the man’s side, snatching the newspaper out of his hands. 

"Oi, hey, what th-"

"I asked you what the hell are you doing here," Levi repeated the words slowly and with bitterness. Eren had never heard so much rage in his voice before. 

Kenny leaned back and put his hands behind his head, reclining comfortably onto the couch. Eren could hear the small growl from Levi, who kicked Kenny’s feet off his table and glared at the man once more. 

"Answer me."

Sighing, Kenny sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Ah came 'ere to see how my nephew’s been doin'. Ah haven’t heard from ya in ages." 

"Bullshit."

Laughing heartily, Kenny went, on ignoring Levi’s wrath.

"Ah’m serious. Ah came to see if ya were still alive. Everyone's been thinkin' ya’ve kicked the bucket back at the comp'ny."

Levi rubbed his temples letting out an irritated sigh. "Just get out." 

"Come on, Runt. Ya can’t be seri-"

"I said get the hell out!"

Eren jumped back at the sudden shout, but Kenny just sat there blankly. He was staring at the table intently, then lifted his head to look at Levi. They seemed to communicate silently and Kenny gave in. 

"Fine. Ah’ll leave." Kenny huffed, standing up and towering over Levi. "but just so ya know… ya won't be able to ignore the comp'ny’s problems fer long." 

Eren could hardly hear the last bits, but the man turned away from Levi and pushed past him, exiting the house and leaving the door ajar once more. 

Levi growled again and slammed the door shut, keeping his back to Eren and his hand against the wood like he was worried Kenny would come back. After a moment of silence, Mikasa giving Eren pleading eyes to do something, Levi turned back to Eren. 

His eyes were still full of rage and fire, but they were calmer since Kenny had left. Eren began to panic, shifting uneasily under Levi’s scrutinizing stare. 

"I-i’m sorry abo-"

"Shut the fuck up," Levi grumbled. He finally took his eyes away from Eren and moved to the book that was strewn on the floor, picking it up and setting it in its place on the bookshelf. 

"Who the hell gave you the dumb ass idea to let that bastard in?"

Eren gulped but couldn’t reply. With an uneven sigh, Levi turned back at him, unaware of Mikasa who was gripping onto his arm. Eren wanted to hold on tight to her too, but he stood as still as possible. 

Levi huffed and moved over to Eren, Eren flinching but letting out a breath of relief when Levi simply walked to the pot behind him. 

He peered in at the contents a confused expression over his face. Eren took a silent steady breath and spoke. 

"He told me to make something."

Nodding, Levi grabbed a utensil and stirred the soup, glaring at Eren when he found the ladle he had dropped in it. Appearing satisfied with his examination, he set both the spoon he had and the ladle he retrieved onto the counter and turned away. 

"Finished up," he barked. 

Levi went into his room, the door slamming behind him and leaving Mikasa and Eren alone in the kitchen. 

Mikasa glanced over to Eren, her face pale. 

"It’s okay," Eren assured. 

Seeing as Levi was simply retreating to his room instead of yelling at Eren more or anything else, Levi appeared to be in a better mood than usual. Most likely due to Kenny. Levi must have gotten all his pent up rage out from yelling at him. 

Eren turned back to his soup, mixing in a few more ingredients by Mikasa’s instruction. At least the meal smelled better than usual. 

<<<>>>

The dinner was silent. A silence that Eren was both begging to be broken, yet pleading to remain. He was glad for the distance between him and Levi since that meant Levi wasn’t in any mood to scold him. 

Levi was eating a lot more than usual too, but Eren knew better than to say anything about it. Instead, he opted to revel in the fact on the inside, keeping his pleased self that he made something good in his head.

Levi set his bowl aside and wiped his mouth with his napkin, what he did every day before the meal ended. Eren was still a bit hungry but he did the same. 

"We’re going into town today."

Eren nodded his head, not registering what Levi had said till moments later. 

He stared up at Levi, his eyes wide, Levi only glaring back and clicking his tongue. 

"Don't look so surprised. I’m not leaving you here again since you think letting strangers in is a good idea."

Eren elatedness about the news died down at his bitter words. 

"Sorry-"

"You already said that." Levi cut in. he gave Eren one more hateful stare then looked away. "Anyway. You and I will be shopping for more food. Maybe I’ll get you new clothes so you stop wasting mine."

Eren nodded along once more, staying silent and keeping his head down. 

Levi hesitated and he could feel his eyes on him already. He was afraid for another scolding but when Levi simply sighed, then stood up and left the table, Eren was confused. 

He looked up at the man’s retreating form, Levi not glancing behind him once. "Get washed up and clean up in here. Be ready before I get out."

The bedroom door shut between them, separating the two once again.

<<<>>>

Das Jahr: 850 August 20

Mikasa wiped the sweat off Eren face anew, replacing the cloth on his forehead with a fresh one. Levi sat on the other side of the bed, overlooking Eren’s wellbeing alongside her. 

The two rarely spoke to each other since the day they first met. Both Eren and Mikasa were too startled to say anything really, and Levi just stared at the two confused. The story that Eren came up with for Mikasa was that when he was younger he met her outside of the academy, but she couldn't attend due to money issues. Now her family passed away and she was living on her own, so Eren asked if she could stay with them. 

Levi at first was skeptical, seeing through Eren fib easily, but he gave in and let the two do as they pleased. 

"How’s he doing?"

Mikasa looked up at Levi for a second, surprised that he finally broke the silence. Mikasa studied Eren’s face next, noting that the harsh pale was leaving. He had just gotten his new prosthetics and not only was he in terrible pain, but they had to get him back into town from hours away through a train. The rocking and shaking caused Eren even more misery. He was resting under Mikasa’s and Levi’s watch afterward. 

"He’s getting a bit better," Mikasa assured. "Though I’m not sure when he'll be up again…"

"He’ll be fine." Levi tried, watching Mikasa as she took her seat once more. "He’ll be back in no time."

Mikasa vaguely nodded and kept her eyes on Eren. his face was scrunched up from the hurt, but it almost looked like he was having a bad dream. 

"Mikasa…?"

Mikasa glance up, not use to hearing her name from the man’s mouth. 

"I’ve been wondering, where exactly are you from? I know Eren’s been lying and it’s fine if your life is a bit of a… hard thing to tell someone. I can keep your secret and I promise I won't kick you into the streets."

Mikasa looked away and shook her head. "No, I can’t say." 

More like she wasn't sure what to say. Eren had told her that they should keep what she was a secret. It would be hard to explain and make others understand. 

Levi sighed but nodded his head in reply. "Alright, that’s fine. Just try and stay out of trouble. Eren's been through enough over the years and I’d prefer the two of you stay safe."

Mikasa mumbled an agreement. She was still not used to having the man be so nice. Sure the last time she saw him years back he was somewhat better than what he was in the beginning, but now Eren spoke of the man like a parent. And Levi acted as one. Even going so far as fretting over Mikasa’s safety. A stranger. 

Levi shifted in his seat, the chair biting into his back most likely, much like Mikasa’s. But the two were both too stubborn to leave Eren’s side. 

"How long have you and Eren known each other?"

Mikasa wished Levi kept to the silence between them. 

"Years. But we haven’t seen each other in a while."

Levi was thinking hard, not pleased with the avoidant answer. 

"Were you born he-"

Eren began to wake, interrupting Levi and bringing both their attentions to him. 

"Hey, don’t move so much," Mikasa advised, but Levi was the one who set a hand on his arm, urging him to hold still. 

Eren opening his eyes and looked up at the two, a faint smile crossing his lips. 

"You’re such worriers," he muttered. 

Mikasa huffed but went on. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit," he replied, earning a bothered look from Mikasa, but a small laugh from Levi. 

"I’m sure," Levi replied. "You’ve been through hell in the past few days. 

Eren slowly nodded his head, wincing when that caused discomfort to his shoulder. 

"I said don't move so much," Mikasa repeated, adding her grip to his other arm, careful not to hold too tight since it was his prothetic. 

Eren hummed and looked over to Mikasa. 

"You- you’re still here," Eren said happily, trying to move his arm to reach out to Mikasa, but hissing in discomfort. 

"Hey," Levi scolded him, gripping his other arm.

"I promised I’d still be here when you wake." Mikasa deadpanned. 

Eren closed his eyes for a second a goofy smile still over his lips. When he opened his eyes he was still looking up at Mikasa. 

"You’re so pretty." he sighed, moving his other arm, realizing that one wasn’t in pain like the other. 

Mikasa's felt a flush on her cheeks, confused about why he had said such a thing, but when Levi softly laughed from the other side of the bed she glared up to him. 

Levi gave an apologetic smile. "It’s the medicine… I think." Levi explained, letting go of Eren’s arm and letting him raise it in the air for no reason but Eren wanting to. "The doctor said something about it. He’ll be acting like a drunk bastard for a bit now."

Mikasa tilted her head, but looked back to Eren, her eyes scanning over his face. At least the color was returning slowly. 

Eren was mumbling incoherent words, looking up at the ceiling dazed. It was going to be a few tough days ahead. 

<<<>>>

The smoke from the building billowed up into the sky in a never-ending puff. The sighs and screeches of machines and workers echoed through the walls, the windows too dirtied to see through but the sounds strong enough to imagine what was going on. 

Inside Reiner huffed and continued watching the assembly by the far wall. The constant hum of the machinery was beginning to be a null sound in his ears and the red blisters on his hands were beginning to be common things for him to deal with. A factory employee rarely got breaks in the evening, and aside from your lunch break, there was no other till you got off. And that was well past sunset when you could no longer feel your brain working on as it often does and your hands begin to fumble. 

Reiner watched out the dusty brown windows, barely being able to discern the group of kids playing on the side of the building. Using the worn-down grass to play ball. Reiner hoped the kids didn't get caught by his father. He could recall the scolding he received from him when he was found playing on the property as a child. And since they weren’t his own, then the scolding would be ten times worse. 

Beside him Bertholdt tapped his shoulder, looking confused. "What’s the matter?"

Reiner shook it off and moved on to the next line of people. Everyone was working like mindless dolls, repeating their work without a bat of the eye. Reiner caught a worker who was lagging though. A new employee and just a kid at that. 

Reiner moved to his side, overlooking his fumbling hands that were holding up the perfect line. 

The boy didn't notice him till he realized his fellow workers were looking at him with frightened eyes. The boy turned and finding Bertholdt and Reiner looking down at him, their towering forms were almost menacing. The boy took a step back a startled glint in his eyes. 

"S-sorry. I’ve been trying my hardest, but I can’t get used to it so qui-"

Reiner stepped next to him, the boy’s face pale. 

Picking up one of the objects he did as the boy was supposed to do, finishing 10 projects within seconds. The boy watched both in horror and in fascination. Reiner turned back to him and directed him into the line. 

"If you don't focus on what’s around you and keep your hands moving in no time you’ll get the hang of it. And a trick is to work with both hands at the same time." Reiner pat the boy’s shoulder and watched as he did a few. His hands still shaky and not use to the quick work. But Reiner could see his potential. "Ask for help from one of your coworkers." Reiner tried. 

The boy looked up at him, confused at the kindness that the employees ordinarily never got. 

"T-thank you, sir."

Nodding his head the pair moved on. 

They moved to the next building, one of the newer ones. This one was even more hot and muggy than the last, the heat from outside doing nothing to help. The only thing that was nice about the building was that it lacked the moss and vines that the others had. Though, the windows had easily and quickly gained built up smoke and dust, making them yellowed and old in appearance.

Reiner looked over the process of the glass being made, the fire was the main source of the harsh heat. He was always fascinated with the machines, but when he turned to see all the people sweating over their work stations, dread and guilt filled him.

Bertholdt and he were supposed to check the glass making and be sure that the new employees were doing well. Though most of the workers were sent in from others of their factories so they knew what to do and how to keep up the pace with the never halting assembly. 

After a few moments, the larger doors were slid open and fresh air rocketed into the room for a moment before being lost to the smoke and heat once more. A group came into the building, the employees only taking a second to look over before getting back to work. 

Reiner stood before his father, the man coldly watching the workers but never turning to acknowledge his son. 

"How is it?" the man wondered, beginning to walk along one of the tables. 

"They're doing well, sir." 

Reiner’s father finally regarded him, a doubtful look on his face. 

"Then… why are the shipments being held back? This portion of my business was supposed to make the largest. If I don’t get a shipment out this month than I lose half that worth."

Reiner sharply shifted in his spot, scraping his boot along with the cement, but keeping his eyes locked with his father’s. There was no fatherly smile back, only cold black eyes that were waiting for an answer. 

"I- Sir, the shipment will only be a few weeks off. There’s nothing we can do."

Reiner’s father’s glare only intensified. 

"Nothing you can do?" he sneered. "I built this whole company myself. From scratch. I never said a damn thing about ‘there’s nothing we can do’. I suggest you find something so do, or I’ll be sending you back to the industrial district amidst your brothers."

Reiner wanted to protest and say anything back to the man, but he knew better than to fight. Nodded his head then lowering it, he stepped back so his father could finish the inspection. 

Reiner glanced back to Bertholdt, who was by one of the lines, helping out one of the employees who was having a hard time speedily wiping away the glass stains before the line passed her. She was fretting over her poor work, but Bertholdt kept assuring her it was fine. Though there was still a layer of sweat over his brow from the conversation he had overheard between Reiner and his father. 

Reiner was about to move on when he caught his father’s stare directed at one of the other workers. She was also struggling, but she was a veteran and was always well at her work. She was surely just worried and distracted by her boss's sudden visit. Dismissing any worries, Reiner was about to head to Bertholdt side when he caught his father making his way to the worker, his strides heavy. Reiner quickly reacted before his father, matching his pace and grabbing out to take his arm. 

"Wait, father." he tried, but his father simply pushed him away and looked back at the lady, his eyes cold, but a smile on his lips. The woman paused and hesitantly looked to her side discretely. 

Reiner’s father tapped her shoulder lightly, something that rivaled his bitter appearance. 

"You are having trouble?" the man asked. 

The woman glanced up, her hands paused from reaching out to one of the cups to inspect them. "Uh… sorry, sir. I am just not in the right mind right no-"

Reiner’s father raised his hand before the lady, her pausing and looked on with horror. Before a hit landed Reiner took his father’s arm once more, tugging it back. 

"Father, sir, this is not a place to do this. She didn't mean to."

Before Reiner could react he was hit across the face instead, sharp pins of pain erupting and causing his to lose his hold on his father. Reiner staggered back and stared on at the man, who fixed the cuff of his sleeve as nothing happened. The lady behind him looked on in alarm but was still, the assembly behind her building up and glasses filling her area waiting to be sent to the next line. The factory went into a silence that was only the hum and screech of machinery. The old workers kept to their work, while the newcomers paused and glance behind them at the scene. There were even a few who let out a startled yelp. 

Reiner was about to back down when Bertholdt came by his side and helped him straighten up, glaring at Reiner’s father. 

Reiner tried to stop Bertholdt from doing anything rash but he couldn’t predict anything he was going to say. 

"You shouldn’t be acting so unseemly in your own factory, sir." Bertholdt seethed, Reiner surprised to hear those words coming from his often soft-spoken and withdrawn friend. 

Reiner’s father’s face turned red from rage, his fist balling then opening once more. Bertholdt began to waver then, more sweat breaking out over his face and dripping from his chin. Before anyone saw the man move, Reiner’s father backhanded Bertholdt, much like he had Reiner, but this time harsher. Bertholdt tumbled back and landed on the concrete, Reiner reacting quickly but not fast enough. His father brought his boot down on his face, Bertholdt trying to struggle through it, but letting out a pained bellow. Everyone looked on at the fight this time, Reiner’s father throwing a couple more blows till Bertholdt was still. Reiner tried to stop him but it was over before he knew it. 

His father did a circle around and looked at every last one of his employees. 

"What are you all doing just standing there?" he shouted, his voice echoing over the machines. "We have a delivery to be shipped out in less than two weeks. You have no time for rest."

Everyone went back to work as they were told and the man peered down at the boy on the floor one last time before glaring at his son. 

"I don’t ever want you or this bastard to talk back to me again. You should know better than to show me such disrespect."

Reiner knew there was growing ferocity in his eyes, but he forced it down and nodded his head. "Yes… sir."

His father looked pleased and moved on, leaving the factory and leaving the assembly behind in stunned hush. 

Reiner quickly rushed to Bertholdt’s side once the doors slid shut. He was still alive but unconscious. He grabbed one of his arms and lifted him, trying not to put too much strain on his body as he did so. 

Before struggling a few steps he felt Bertholdt being supported from the other side. He glanced over at the one who was audacious enough to help, startled and confused and found a young woman with a sharp and cold glare. Her blue eyes judging when she looked back up at him. 

"We have to get him someplace else don't we?" the woman shot, her eyebrows knitting together. She was a lot shorter than the both of them but had no trouble keeping up with Reiner and holding on to most of Bertholdt’s weight alongside him. 

Reiner was silent for a count. 

"What about your job? You can’t just stop mi-"

"I’m quitting anyway. Now, are you going to keep bitching about every little thing I do, or are you going to help me carry your friend out of here?"

Reiner hastily gathered himself and straightened up, taking up more of Bertholdt’s weight to take off of the woman’s shoulder. She looked thankful, but not for too long before going back to her cynical glare ahead of them. 

"Thanks," Reiner spoke after a while, the two finally out the door and in the fresh air. 

The woman turned her eyes away and said nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To also add to this update, last time (About a month ago, I know!!) I mentioned that 119 was evil... well chapter 120 will be coming out soon and all I have to say is that I'm both impatient for it, but also not ready!! I'm hoping for the best - which is surely just a wild and silly wish to ask of Attack on Titan.


End file.
